Broken

This is a story about an affair, a marriage, divorce. It is about sex, love and ultimate heartbreak. A couple posts will be added every week.

  • Broken – Prologue
    This blog is a story about a journey at the end of a loyal and loveless marriage and an unexpected new found love that turned into a long affair that cost me … Continue reading “Broken – Prologue”
  • Broken – My Tinder Find
    I picked up my phone and downloaded Tinder. My heart was racing and I felt like I was betraying my marriage. But I said how could I betray someone I have no romantic relationship with.
  • Broken – Texting
    After sending my message thanking her for understanding I was expecting a “you’re welcome” and that was about it. She started to engage more and started teasing me a little in a very flirty way. She said aren’t you curious to know who I am. I said “Of course!!”
  • Broken – The First Meeting
    As we narrowed our meeting to a day and time we had some obstacles to overcome. It would be a couple weeks from when we matched to the time we could meet. But that day was coming. In between that time I would send her long texts of erotica.
  • Broken – The Aftermath
    So we had our first date and I went home on cloud nine but also in a little bit of anxiousness. I wondered would she focus on the connection or my awkwardness. It could be endearing but some women like their men smooth and sophisticated.
  • Broken – First Hotel Date
    So I drove to the hotel. It was midweek and I had to check in at 11AM. This was always the worst feeling. I am naturally a risk adverse person and there is so much risk. You give them your name and a form of payment. There is a record of you being where you are not supposed to be.
  • Broken – Routine and First Real World Encounter
    Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue We would alternate between a few hotel visits and my office. We would see each other a … Continue reading “Broken – Routine and First Real World Encounter”
  • Broken – More Sex
    It had been about a month and I probably had more sex with Hailey more than I had in the last 4 years of my life. We did it everywhere in my office, hotels, cars. Pretty much where ever we could.
  • Broken – The Close Call
    Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue We were starting to get so deep in each other. I don’t know how but we spent … Continue reading “Broken – The Close Call”
  • Broken – Sweet Side and Red Flags
    While the foundation of our affair was based on sex and intimacy it started to balance itself with a very sweet side. That is my default mindset is to be nice and kind always steering it to stability and peace.
  • Broken – “I Love You”
    We were about 3 months into our relationship and after a series of sexcapades everywhere and anywhere we decided we wanted some romance and spend a day with each other. I got … Continue reading “Broken – “I Love You””
  • Broken – Bliss and Chaos pt. 1
    When you are first in love there is a blissful period. You want to know everything about this person and they you. The universe couldn’t look better. Things are more colorful, smell better, things are funnier, and you are just generally more happy. We were no exception.
  • Broken – Bliss and Chaos pt. 2
    It wasn’t long before I settled back into my blissful state. Completely unaware of the ugly world around me. I wanted to believe she could keep her husband under control. I didn’t even question too much of what happens next. She anticipated months of talks and probably breaking up.
  • Broken – Fallout and Anxiety
    He knows! The drive home gave me a sickening feeling. Wasn’t it only a matter of time before all this blows up and we become the scandal of the town? What did I just do?
  • Broken – Hailey and Me
    I am taking a spot in the middle to describe Hailey and myself. It is important to get an understanding of these two people and how they came together. We make no sense in any way. I am understated and she is overstated. She can be down to earth and I can be sophisticated.
  • Broken – Vacation
    I managed to escape our city and for vacation without the world coming crashing down on my head. It was a bit of relief but the underlying anxiety existed. I spoke to Hailey daily and often.
  • Broken – Reality Hits
    We are back from vacation. We are just in that lazing around the house mode from travel. I am not relaxed and getting anxious again. I sit in my chair looking out the window. And within hours of coming back. I see it!!
  • Broken – What Are We Doing?
    Looking back I don’t know how we made it through the end of that summer and a good portion of the fall. We would continue to meet and he would continue to catch us. We hadn’t done it in a while but I snuck her in the house one day.
  • Broken – Surreal
    After the fallout of getting caught, again, Hailey was in constant turmoil with James. He worked from home and she didn’t work that much. So they would argue all through out the day while their kids were at school. It was probably torturous for her. I imagine for him as well.
  • Broken – That Didn’t Last Long
    We last about 8 days with a message or two in there but minimal. Then it broke back into talking again. We would keep it quieter than last time or she would try. We couldn’t help it we just wanted to be together. We were keeping each other going in life.
  • Broken – Again
    Hailey was back and we were in back in a state of her needing to give her marriage a chance talk. That break we didn’t give a shot. However she wanted to see me one last time. She arranged her yearly trip to a hotel for time away and some Christmas shopping. Of course we had a plan for me to meet her there.
  • Broken – Things Move Fast
    Hailey seems like really good person but calling her impulsive would be an understatement. At this point I didn’t know but would later think that she is clinically self absorbed or worse. James is a narcissist and this created possibly the most volatile combination in a marriage I have ever seen.
  • Broken – What Now?
    Now that Hailey told James she wanted out, in my world that would be almost immediate, but not with them. He would hold on and try to convince her not to go. I never understood this. Why would you want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with you.
  • Broken – One Year In
    It seems impossible but it was about 1 year into my relationship with Hailey, and almost 6 months since James found out. How were we doing this? How are we still able to see each other and be with each other and block out the flaming world around us.
  • Broken – Strange Times
    At this point Hailey had told James she wanted out. He was pleading with her to stay. I had no idea where this left things with them. They were as transparent as mud… they would vacillate back and forth all the time. But I knew the trajectory was going in a certain direction.
  • Broken – You’re What?
    At this point after their family vacation Hailey was telling me how she had enough of James. I describe these things as transgressions because it’s their story is not mine to tell. But based on what she told me I could understand her losing her patience.
  • Broken – What if?
    The internal fallout from Hailey accelerating her separation left me disoriented initially. We talked about being together a lot but never about logistics. It was all just fantasy at that point, never when or how it would look like.
  • Broken – Our First Overnight
    It was April a few months after our first year plus long relationship that we had a chance to have an overnight. My family was away and I was home. I set up the downstairs in a nice way to accommodate us for the night.
  • Broken – Spring Forward
    In the aftermath of our overnight we were still ducking James. He would go in and out of caring and not. I would meet Hailey typically before therapy. A quick conversation and make out session. It was getting deeper. Hailey was starting to work on healing and her future.
  • Broken – Hailey’s Single
    It was June and the house was sold. The process of moving had begun and James had already found a townhouse in the city right next door. Hailey found a place that wouldn’t be ready til August.
  • Broken – I Can’t Believe This
    It was a few days after I spent that first night with her and she was different. I couldn’t tell what… just in those few days, but she gave me quite a few “you better hurry” jokes. But I brushed them off as her being charming. We liked to needle each other in a fun way. It was part of our rapport.

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