Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue
I managed to escape our city and for vacation without the world coming crashing down on my head. It was a bit of relief but the underlying anxiety existed. I spoke to Hailey daily and often. She said he was everywhere trying to figure out who it was. While he was doing that we were still in the honeymoon phase of our love. It was a strange place to be. Caught between a world of love a little bit fantasy/reality with the rest of our reality hanging by a thread.
She really would love bomb me. Filled me with so many words of affirmation. How great I was as a person, as a friend, as a lover. It was amazing. I would tell her how sweet, sexy and funny she was. And all the things i wanted to do to her sexually and the times I wanted to spend with her personally.
I didn’t ever think this would perpetually be in a fantasy state. I really started to think about it for real I was in it with her for the long haul. I am not even sure how I thought that could work. And while I wanted no one hurt I didn’t exactly hate the outcome idea of it blowing up. I would get to be with her. I contemplated “is this the love of my life”. Sometimes you just feel that in the pit of your stomach and in your heart simultaneously. I thought she very well could be. Our chemistry was out of control good.
I am also not one to believe in to many hokey things but I could really feel her on a presence level. When she was near, when she was thinking of me. I can even feel it to this day. I went through my vacation and had some nice times with my family I was present but also somewhere else. I was thinking about her and our situation and what the hell I was coming back to.
On the final day of my trip I really couldn’t message with Haley as proximity to family was too much. I try to keep it far away from each other. I was unable to see any messages from her so while waiting around I checked my FB and a new friend request… “FUCK! It’s James!” I must have paced around uncontrollably for 2 hours. I also didn’t sleep for 5 or 6 days. All i could think about was- he knows…..