Broken – Strange Times

At this point Hailey had told James she wanted out. He was pleading with her to stay. I had no idea where this left things with them. They were as transparent as mud… they would vacillate back and forth all the time. But I knew the trajectory was going in a certain direction.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

At this point Hailey had told James she wanted out. He was pleading with her to stay. I had no idea where this left things with them. They were as transparent as mud… they would vacillate back and forth all the time. But I knew the trajectory was going in a certain direction.

They had one more vacation scheduled and started talking November in terms of separating. Which is really strange. Once you decide isn’t that supposed to be it. It’s complicated I guess with finances and kids. But they were so volatile what would be left by November.

Our dynamic stayed similar although we were still dodging James. They head to vacation and she complains about what is going on while they are there. How awful and over the top he can be. She frequently mentions that she doesn’t know how long it will last. I probably should have paid more attention to this. But I offer my support and love to try to get her through.

I had to start thinking about my own trajectory. I really needed to make an effort and focus on my own world. What was I going to do? How was I going to make my transition for myself and my family? I was so consumed with Hailey and James and fending off total disaster. How do I approach my situation. I wanted to try and end things with as much grace as I could. So I started a process of taking care of the house, finances, and having conversations about my marriage.

I had to be careful because we wouldn’t do the scarface like ending Hailey and James do. It will be sad, hard but probably somewhat dignified. I wanted to make sure transition for my family was as smooth and gradual as one could make this. While also maintaining my relationship with Hailey.

I did want to be with Hailey but knew I had to do it the right way. At some point I would need to ask for a little space to deal with it. But right now I need to put my head down and work to make it a possibility. The way I would frame it always was I was going to make myself available for the possibility of Hailey and I. But I was prepared for the fact that we may not work out so I had to be resolute in my decision that is was best for my life. It was the second time in 20 plus years I had thought about my own needs. The first time manifested in Hailey, would the second time have the same manifestation?

Author: Matt

Hi, I’m Matt. Just your average uneventful guy. Dedicated Dad, emapth, and nurturer. Going through something I couldn’t possible ever thought possible. My story is called Broken. About an affair at the end of a long marriage and how ultimately I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life. It's honest, raw, and a little bit entertaining. I hope to share my story so people can learn while being therapeutic for myself.

5 thoughts on “Broken – Strange Times”

  1. Sounds like you were somehow swooped up into their codependency. You must’ve really loved her if you still had space in your heart for her or the room for possibility with her after all the ups and downs so far…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great comment! I was totally swept up in the codependency and in some ways we all had a codependency to each other. As an empath I am very susceptible being codependent on someone needing me. In my marriage therapy I discovered that my wife was a dependent (to me taking care of her) and I was a codependent (on that need to be needed). And it opened my eyes to how vulnerable I am in regards to providing for people at the expense of myself. Over time this is an unhealthy codependency. I mean goes with out saying that my codependency with James and Hailey was unhealthy. lol. But at home as well. I think I have heard the term Interdependence be described as healthy codependency.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I recall reading in your blog that you’re an INFJ. Did you take an actual myers briggs personality test to know that? (I’m an ENFJ.) Anyway, it sounds like at this point in your story, you were reaching somewhat a turning point or awakening in how you were dealing with this codependency in your relationship and your marriage. Were you in therapy at this time? Btw, no need to answer that part of the question (Or any of my questions, for that matter lol.) I also realize that part of the story might be coming and you might not want to share yet. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I am an INFJ and did take the myers briggs test many times. Nice to hear you are a fellow NFJ. You are exactly right I am heading towards many awakenings and I plan to dig into the psychology quite a bit more as the story unfolds. At this point in the story I hadn’t gone through any marriage therapy. But I think revealing that it gets there is ancillary to the many twists this story will take.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist - The World's No.1 Resource About Narcissism

Know everything about narcissists from the world's no.1 source. A narcissist himself.

The Hot Goddess

Reimagining Midlife. Change Your Life to an Authentic Life Over 50

Onward & Upward

A blog about life, about moments that we all go through in life, but find away through.

Jaycee Dean

Power in words

The Quiet Storm

Buyer beware it's never all rated PG!!!!

Praying for Eyebrowz

Doing the best I can with what I have

Corrupting Mrs Jones

Often unfiltered thoughts.

Mitch Teemley

The Power of Story

A Season in my life

Surviving midlife with grace and dignity. And a little humor.

Hearts and Minds

Why choose.. lets go with both

My Journey by Grace

God giving me to share time & space

Almost Iowa

Where irrationality trumps reason

Chocolate Cocaine

Eroticism, Intimacy, Sex, Erotic Poetry, Erotic, Writer, Author, Spoken Word, Erotic Spoken Word, Erotic Artist, Sensuality, Erotic Artists Unite, Karma Eve, Chocolate Cocaine

Writer of Words etc

Words, mostly


...the journey continues

In Between Days

The musings of a 40 something who is still waiting on her happy ending and hoping he shows up a little disheveled and road-weary.

Wandering Explorer Travel

Thoughts & Memories of a Traveler at Heart

slave shae

My Submissive Journey in a Life of D/s Slavery

Raise Your Feathers

Your Mind, Your Story and You

Be Inspired..!!

Listen to your inner has all the answers..

Hopelessly Hopeless

Romance isn’t dead. It’s just overrated.

an inferior slut

18+ only | nsfw

Olivia Lucie Blake

Musings of a Millennial. Life, The World and Everything In Between.

Lillith Avir

D/s... mostly

Create your website with
Get started
%d bloggers like this: