Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue
The internal fallout from Hailey accelerating her separation left me disoriented initially. We talked about being together a lot but never about logistics. It was all just fantasy at that point, never when or how it would look like. I was sort of caught between two aspects of this. I wanted her to make her own decisions but maybe thought we would coordinate a little. I know that sounds like a little bit of a contradiction but I still thought it was possible.
Probably just wanted earlier transparency. You would think after all the impulsive moments. Her telling James, Asking me to pick her up on a moments notice, taking my keys, etc. I would be expecting this. But I wasn’t. I just thought adults take their time with big life decisions. And that our fantasy discussion would mature into actual ones… slower.
What this did was accelerate their process in hiring lawyers and discussing divorce. The sale of an asset would certainly be held in escrow until they filed for divorce. And they haven’t even been separated yet. The sheer breakdown of natural progression for this process made it chaotic. And it gave them a new way to poke at each other. So on top of his ups and downs and her antagonizing him with the thought of me it just added so much stress to an already stressful situation.
Once again I tried to be supportive. I even reviewed and printed her out her filing papers. I would try to help her with her resume and doing better financially. I did this for her. I didn’t ever need her to be financially well off. I just genuinely worried about her and her children. I knew James would always try to do the bare minimum. And to some degree that was fine. But he did that to hurt her and I know that.
We were still seeing each other but both preparing for what was next. Never for a moment did I think our love was in any jeopardy. She would still say the most amazing things to me tell me how much she loved me. She remarked to me as we attended a school event for our kids (who were in the same grade). I will be there with my ex-husband (she was married twice), current husband, and future husband. I was flattered and thought it was so funny at the same time.
That event was interesting and we found ourselves face to face. Away from most people. I couldn’t believe it. Is this the universe pushing us together? We actually had a few minutes of conversation and almost forgot where we were. She had always said “don’t be surprised if I see you and throw my arms around you”. I quickly snapped to reality told her I loved her and I got away when I remembered that both of our spouses were there. And one of them knows I exist in the way I do with Hailey.
I sat in a location where I could see James but he wouldn’t see me but I could see him combing the crowd. We all sat there like nothing had ever happened it was a little surreal. We managed to get out of there without the world blowing up… Thank God! Sometimes it is challenging to date someone in the same office, gym, or even town. Let me tell you an affair with this much proximity really delivers on that anxiety equally as much as it has any deliciousness to it.