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Broken – Spring Forward

In the aftermath of our overnight we were still ducking James. He would go in and out of caring and not. I would meet Hailey typically before therapy. A quick conversation and make out session. It was getting deeper. Hailey was starting to work on healing and her future.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

In the aftermath of our overnight we were still ducking James. He would go in and out of caring and not. I would meet Hailey typically before therapy. A quick conversation and make out session. It was getting deeper. Hailey was starting to work on healing and her future.

I was working on it in a very different way. We all have traumas and mine was as a kid, hers was both as a child and as an adult. We both had very different adult challenges but the big picture was similar. In being tethered to a spouse who vacated our marriages for years. This bond helped us connect even beyond our naturally wild chemistry.

There would be times we would even arrange just seeing each other in public without actually talking just acknowledging each other with a smile or a look. On some level I am sure it seems insensitive to those around us who we cared about. But it really felt innocent and sweet. Things that should happen for or to people. While our spouses didn’t deserve it, we did. If that makes any sense.

In this space in our relationship it was getting more meaningful. We would get into so much about our lives. We knew about each others children. Hopes and dreams. Likes and Dislikes. At this point in my life I know Hailey maybe better than anyone and she knows me probably better than anyone as well.

I watched her in what I thought was her being brave. Taking action and changing her life. I was in admiration. She would do something and think about it or deal with it as it came. My approach was to plan think through the scenarios take calculated acceptable risks. I tried to let her be her, but I was never sure that she would have the patience to let me be me.

Hailey and James moved for the third time in 4 years when i met her. Anytime the marital problems would bubble they would just move and think that a fresh start would help. I tried to explain to her that is akin to running away the problems don’t stay with the house. I am writing this as reinforcement of the flip side of leaping before you look. At the end of the day you do need to take a leap of faith. But why try to leap 100 feet when you only have to leap 10. I think she was getting it. But I was always concerned about the decisions she made but nevertheless supportive. I was nervous for her as the sale of their home approached. June is right around the corner and I was nervous for us as well. What comes next?

Author: Matt

Hi, I’m Matt. Just your average uneventful guy. Going through something I couldn’t possible ever thought possible.

8 thoughts on “Broken – Spring Forward”

  1. As I read a piece of your story each day, I can’t help but wonder…why haven’t you left your wife at this point? I do get that there are logistics to be figured out…but you were clearly done with the marriage when you decided to go on to Tinder. And now, you’ve been sleeping with another woman for over a year. So…at this point, why hadn’t you started the process of leaving? Please don’t let my question make you feel defensive… I am just wondering, not judging. I know how hard it would be to walk away from one’s family. But…was that it or was it something else?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Great question… I was working on it. I had to feel like I left the “home” in good stead. Financially, Operationally. So I tirelessly worked to clear debt and fix up the house. Also my kids… I just love them so much not having them under the same roof still hurts.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m gonna do something kinda weird for the comment section – make a movie recommendation. When you said not having your kids under the same roof….that’s heartbreaking. Anyway, have you ever seen the movie Before Sunset? It’s one of my FAVORITE movies. I love the whole trilogy for many reasons, as the movies take place over the span of almost 20 years. Parts of the love story remind me a little of me and Paul, AND a little of me and Chris… Anyway, there’s this car scene in that movie that’s absolutely phenomenal (to me). No it’s not a car sex scene lol. Anyway, this scene always makes me cry. It’s so real and beautiful and sad. The comments above made me think of it. Here’s the link if you’re interested:

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I watched The Bridges of Madison County where the woman (Meryl Streep) had a love affair while the family was away. The deepest most heartbreaking love connection she ever felt and it was mutual (Clint Eastwood). I won’t spoil the movie, but if you want to learn about internal struggles, that movie did it well I thought.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So…. I can’t believe you mentioned it. This is Hailey’s favorite movie and she made me watch it. And boy did I feel like Clint Eastwood at times so much. I am actually going to reference this in a future post. It has a certain significance.

      Liked by 1 person

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