Broken – WTAF?! Pt. 2

It had been just under 3 weeks, 18 days since the worst day of my entire life. But I was about to catch a break. I had to travel for work and thought “hey this might be an opportunity to spend some quality time and travel with Hailey”.


Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning โ€“ Prologue

It had been just under 3 weeks, 18 days since the worst day of my entire life. But I was about to catch a break. I had to travel for work and thought “hey this might be an opportunity to spend some quality time and travel with Hailey”. I ran it by her and she was excited. So I had to check out the details of the agenda.

In a few days I realized, um nope, terrible idea to bring her. I actually had to stay in a AirBnB with other people from work. I could write an entire post about how much this pissed me off outside of the Hailey factor. I was a fucking middle aged man sharing common sleeping space and quarters with a bunch of millennials (not that I had anything against them). Just shoot me. I should have walked around in my boxer briefs in the morning with morning wood. Seriously!? I digress. For this and so many reasons, the agenda was tight, I was kind of not feeling great (pretty sure it was Covid, you know before we knew it was Covid). It just wasn’t lining up.

I told her it was a no go. You would have thought I shot her puppy. She even pushed on me. “Well let’s just rent a room”. I was like well why would I pay for a room to see you for like 2 hours a day. I said if I am going to pay we can go whenever we want and spend quality time. Always practical but also didn’t want to force it.

She was not very understanding. We communicated throughout the trip and I could tell this was bothering her. Finally she said she was struggling with something. I was like “ok” she danced around it a bunch. But at this point unbeknownst to her I was on my 4th delay to catch the train home. At this point I was in the train station for 5 hours. And the train was going to be another 6 hours to get home. I finally had enough and said out with it…

I’m feeling bad. I’m feeling unconvinced that you can’t work on your marriage… I’m unconvinced that you won’t want more time with the kids. Every time I feel like something is changing there’s a setback. And when a setback happens I feel disappointed and think “ok I’ll see about just meeting someone else so I’m not waiting around feeling disappointed ” but then I will hurt you if I do, So I’m confused.

Also I’m just feeling bad in general about what we did. Although I do not for a second regret knowing you as you are one of my favorite people. So I think as much as I want to be a support for you I think we should take time and space. My heart hurts and I know I’m hurting you too but I’m a mess. I don’t tell you when I’m hurt and disappointed because I don’t want to be a burden on you but that’s not good for me. As your friend and someone that loves you I think you guys should go to therapy so you can say you did the work.

What? I asked where is this coming from? And told her she is overreacting to transition. I said I don’t need space if I do I will let you know.

I need it.

Just so I am aware are you saying goodbye or taking space?

Space

Second worse day of my life not even a month apart. I was so devastated. But never cried. I was numb, sick, spent. Fuck you world!! I still had a 6 hour train ride ahead of me. Geez I wonder what will be on my mind…

Author: Matt

Hi, Iโ€™m Matt. Just your average uneventful guy. Dedicated Dad, emapth, and nurturer. Going through something I couldnโ€™t possible ever thought possible. My story is called Broken. About an affair at the end of a long marriage and how ultimately I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life. It's honest, raw, and a little bit entertaining. I hope to share my story so people can learn while being therapeutic for myself.

18 thoughts on “Broken – WTAF?! Pt. 2”

  1. Oh jeez….reading both these posts. Sounds awful. I also didn’t realize how recent all of this was for you. (also i know this wasn’t the focus of your post, but I sooo would NOT be down to share a AirBnB with a bunch of 20 somethings. a colonoscopy sounds more inviting.)

    Anyway….this part totally sucks for you. I do hope you were able to have SOMEone in your life other than Hailey to talk to and reach out to.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was crazed about having to share the AirBnb. Not even sure I was a fan of summer camp. haha.

      I had no one. I couldn’t really talk to anyone at all. Just my mom but not about Hailey. I never wanted to burden anyone with the knowledge of that. Thanks for the comment. Also yes it is all pretty raw still.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. First, that is crazy about the accommodations your work provides. My husband travels frequently for work with other people and all of them are always provided individual rooms.
    Second…she just can’t wait for five seconds, can she? No patience, whatsoever. You just walked away from an almost 20 year marriage…but of course, in her world, all that exists are her own feelings…..
    Sorry….but she is pissing me off.
    Which means that you are writing this VERY well, Matt….as you are inspiring your readers to FEEL things ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Nora… And you are right again my naughty friend. You are on such a roll…. Just give me 5 fucking seconds already. It was like drinking through a firehose.

      And the individual rooms…. OF COURSE! That is part of the WTAF sentiment.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. You didn’t say anything i haven’t thought or expressed to her myself. You could never. I want people to express themselves. I will try to fill in context if someone is unfairly thought of. But I am writing it as it happens. Those are her words.

          Liked by 1 person

    2. YES! Nora’s jumped out of the box! Sorry Nora, but you have the patience of a saint! I love you to bits for it, but I’m so glad she managed to piss you off to the point you said it! I’ve been there for about 13 posts and thought I was overreacting because of your more measured response to her behaviour! xx

      Liked by 2 people

      1. LOL…I sure love you, Gemma! I will admit…Hailey was pissing me off too, but I kept trying to wear my therapist hat and gain insight into her perspective…but at some point, it was like “oh hell no!”. I am hoping this interchange makes our friend Matt smile ๐Ÿ™‚

        PS. Dibs on him, by the way… I asked him to be my blogging buddy Valentine…. though this could be a very enticing three way…. between your imagination and mine, the poor guy wouldn’t stand a chance ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

              1. SMILING! Oh, I imagine it would be heaven. If you haven’t read Gemma’s work yet…you better get on over there and do some reading. That lady has one WICKEDLY hotttttt imagination ๐Ÿ™‚

                Like

  3. Have been reading along and holding on to my thoughts and praying there will not be a WTAF pt.3 but we all know better. You left a marriage that gave no joy to find a love that now causes pain. H is a selfish and hi maintenance-you can do better. The way H is-I hope she won’t tell her girl to get close to your child for more drama.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m telling you now, if Hailey ever had the misfortune to find herself in front of me for just 5 minutes, she would walk away eviscerated. I want to hang, draw and quarter her! Seriously, selfish does not cover this woman’s behaviour.

    Liked by 2 people

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