Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue
I am going to break the cycle a bit for this post and speak directly to you and narrate where we are. I wanted to fill in some gaps and share some thoughts on my post yesterday and just overall. I think my writing style didn’t serve me well yesterday. I think I sometimes need to add more color to a few things to paint a better picture.
And if I get defensive, excited, or emotional commenting is because it matters to me what you think and that I accurately portray what happened. Although I still pledge to be brutally honest and where ever that lands me is fine. The fact that it can get challenging, and the readers challenge me is a good thing. Even when it’s tough. I am invested as I am sure you are as well. And it means more to me than you would ever know that you are reading and supportive.
I apologize when I miss on certain things I am still learning. But know I look forward to all the comments- tough, supportive, challenging, and silly. They are like pizza it’s never that bad ;).
As for Tammy she is someone that I was confused by. Not by her reaction to our sex or her reaction to it. I was never unclear what she wanted or how she wanted it. I was an escape for her. I didn’t paint that well. I also want to say I would never judge someone I tend to just make observations. I was trying to setup the story as I remembered. Mostly surrounding being confused about our relationship and her intentions with me.
We were barely speaking and I felt like we were starting to tail off. Then suddenly she came to have sex that night. So I was unsure about where our relationship was headed. I figured it out the next week, when she came back for more. And it was the same thing. A late call and a quick arrangement. She arrived I sat on the couch to talk and she asked to go to the bedroom. I discovered that I was a booty call. Which I didn’t see coming, because it started out as a romantic relationship. And there is significance to Tammy that will come in a little later. But for me at that time I am not sure I could be a booty call. I need a connection, a little more than that. Even if I was in a little bit of a slutty phase.
At that time I was doing all I could to repair my relationships with my ex and my kids. I was over there frequently helping out as much as I could. We even did projects that spring and into summer.
I was also talking to a few people trying to figure out what to do with dating. There was no precedent for dating in the pandemic. It was challenging to meet new people. Most didn’t even want to look let alone meet. It was all over the place.
As for my timeline this is a few weeks into the pandemic, let’s call it April of last year. Most of my story started early 2018. It will be three years almost as I write this post. Is it over..? Not by a long shot! When we hit present day you will still be IN the story as it unfolds (depending on what is happening between now and caught up). I am hoping to catch up in the not too distant future.
There is a ton to cover and I want to bring you all in and along. Also there will be stories I left out that I will need to go back to. Kind of like Flashbacks on Lost. Still not over the ending to that show. GoT same, Sopranos, I could do a weeks worth of posts on how to end a show. I digress…
The good news is around the time of April of last year. I met someone just online and had not met in person yet and she would soon become my friend and someone to talk to… Jennifer.