Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue
I knew the silence from Hailey was coming. It was a pattern she has established when we have conflict. Especially in regards to what she is giving in the relationship. And when I hold her accountable to her words.
Understanding this though is difficult. It makes no sense. Just 3 weeks earlier she had sent me a picture she took of herself on our perfect night. Something she would always remember.
It was these sweet things that just didn’t add up. We aren’t having conventional disagreements. Were we arguing over time that she has or that she wants to invest in me? I didn’t even know. I didn’t even ask for time. She said she wanted to give it to me.
But I couldn’t just sit by and hold out hope. It was time to get back out there again. Hoping someone would steal me away from this. It’s a horrible way to approach dating but I wasn’t ready to let go. I needed help.
Then I met someone. Darcey. Hard to explain what it’s like meeting a kindred spirit. Our conversation flows so easily. We can go anywhere with that conversation as well. A fellow empath something we were both discovering recently about ourselves. We see the world through a similar lens. Pretty sure the universe helped me out by putting her in my life at exactly the right time.
Our first date was comfortable in ways it shouldn’t be. Sex, politics, religion… that conversation was all free flowing. Even our family dynamic troubles were almost identical.
Our physical chemistry was great as well. Our kiss is like instant sex. We can’t even kiss that much because it only goes in one direction quickly. Even the first night after a great time our first kiss almost landed us in bed. But we decided to wait.
I know readers will have plenty of questions about Darcey. And I know I am always honest but there are reasons I don’t want to share too much and will be a little protective. So please ask but be patient with my diplomatic answers. She has become an important person in my life.
We did spend quite a bit of time initially together. But something happened that had threw me off balance. I was just sitting there wondering about Hailey. Intuitively I popped open a dating app. And there she was right there. I was stung! I could taste the adrenaline almost instantly. Just wtf! A mere 12 days after our last conversation. “Life was so hard.”
I simply took a screenshot and texted her “Ouch!”. After no response-
Me: Find a date yet? Are you not going to talk to me? I guess it does say that “i would know if you like me if you return my texts or calls.”
Her: I’m not looking for a date. I’m certainly not looking to be scolded by anyone at this point in my life either. I’m sorry you find my life draining. Just imagine how I feel living it. I got a new job. I’m working on an exit plan. The above was not for an actual attempt at a date. I have no idea how to use the app and have not gone through it.
Me: You are on a dating app without the intention of dating? What was it for? If it were the other way around what would you think or how would you react?
I never said you were draining it’s the James part that drains you and it affects others. All I can do is react to you telling me you don’t have energy to even have an ongoing text conversation with me but you have it for someone/thing else? Kind of something you would want to share instead of me just finding out? I don’t want to scold I just want to know what is going on. And don’t act angry towards me all I keep doing is showing my love and support for you when you ask me back into your life and your upset because I ask what your intentions are with me so I can sort myself out?
I immediately called Jennifer to talk me down. And I would not get a response from Hailey and this time it would be longer…