Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue
In the weeks after my last communication with Hailey I had more of a fuck you attitude. I didn’t feel like anything was really resolved. So it would just be the silent treatment until she decided to break it. Or so I thought.
I just went about my business. I would spend time with Jennifer and Darcey. Jennifer knew everything. What happened with Hailey and she knew about Darcey.
And I would run. I would run as often as I could. It wasn’t even about revenge body anymore. It was about therapy. I needed something positive in my life and a way to clear my head.
Some or most people would press to get answers but if she didn’t want to talk to me. So be it. I am absolutely repelled when someone isn’t interested in me and actually avoids me. But even more so when they act like a fucking 5 year old. I can’t stand it. I have all the empathy in the world until you are just no longer a decent person.
And this was beyond reasonable and objective decency. Fine you want to date, fuck the entire world for all I care. But have the decency to come talk to me and look me in the eye and tell me it’s over.
I already faced that more than once. The text for space standing in a train station. The email that she was going back to James. And what the fuck is this? These were the thoughts that came through my head. I was soooo angry that hurt hadn’t even had a chance to set in.
This helped fuel me to go and sort of start a new. But ignoring the pain that it caused me wasn’t going to make it go away. I couldn’t just show up at Hailey’s house or place of business. And why would I. If she won’t answer texts I am sure I am not going to get any answers from her in person.
But as the weeks turned into almost a month it started to catch up. The first person to notice was Darcey. I started to sink into myself. My communication dwindled. I stopped asking or making plans with her. I was just an asshole. But I was just off. Something in my gut kept me off balance.
Darcey is the sweetest person you could meet. She even outclasses me and its something I take pride in. But she pushed me to talk to her. To tell her what was going on. I could tell it wasn’t easier for her. So I started to tell her that I was going through something and I am uneasy and unsure of myself and anything I am really involved in. I could sense the hurt she had for her but she was also hurting for me.
This is a rarity in my life. Always being the one to catch people when they are falling. I don’t even know what to do with her empathy. I told her that I might need to slow things down for a bit until I get my footing. In reality I knew I would have resolve the Hailey issue before I can move onto any meaningful relationship in my life.
But how? She won’t talk to me. Do I just wait it out? It is soooo maddening. I just wanted to scream.