Broken – Catches Up

In the weeks after my last communication with Hailey I had more of a fuck you attitude. I didn’t feel like anything was really resolved. So it would just be the silent treatment until she decided to break it. Or so I thought.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

In the weeks after my last communication with Hailey I had more of a fuck you attitude. I didn’t feel like anything was really resolved. So it would just be the silent treatment until she decided to break it. Or so I thought.

I just went about my business. I would spend time with Jennifer and Darcey. Jennifer knew everything. What happened with Hailey and she knew about Darcey.

And I would run. I would run as often as I could. It wasn’t even about revenge body anymore. It was about therapy. I needed something positive in my life and a way to clear my head.

Some or most people would press to get answers but if she didn’t want to talk to me. So be it. I am absolutely repelled when someone isn’t interested in me and actually avoids me. But even more so when they act like a fucking 5 year old. I can’t stand it. I have all the empathy in the world until you are just no longer a decent person.

And this was beyond reasonable and objective decency. Fine you want to date, fuck the entire world for all I care. But have the decency to come talk to me and look me in the eye and tell me it’s over.

I already faced that more than once. The text for space standing in a train station. The email that she was going back to James. And what the fuck is this? These were the thoughts that came through my head. I was soooo angry that hurt hadn’t even had a chance to set in.

This helped fuel me to go and sort of start a new. But ignoring the pain that it caused me wasn’t going to make it go away. I couldn’t just show up at Hailey’s house or place of business. And why would I. If she won’t answer texts I am sure I am not going to get any answers from her in person.

But as the weeks turned into almost a month it started to catch up. The first person to notice was Darcey. I started to sink into myself. My communication dwindled. I stopped asking or making plans with her. I was just an asshole. But I was just off. Something in my gut kept me off balance.

Darcey is the sweetest person you could meet. She even outclasses me and its something I take pride in. But she pushed me to talk to her. To tell her what was going on. I could tell it wasn’t easier for her. So I started to tell her that I was going through something and I am uneasy and unsure of myself and anything I am really involved in. I could sense the hurt she had for her but she was also hurting for me.

This is a rarity in my life. Always being the one to catch people when they are falling. I don’t even know what to do with her empathy. I told her that I might need to slow things down for a bit until I get my footing. In reality I knew I would have resolve the Hailey issue before I can move onto any meaningful relationship in my life.

But how? She won’t talk to me. Do I just wait it out? It is soooo maddening. I just wanted to scream.

Author: Matt

Hi, I’m Matt. Just your average uneventful guy. Dedicated Dad, emapth, and nurturer. Going through something I couldn’t possible ever thought possible. My story is called Broken. About an affair at the end of a long marriage and how ultimately I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life. It's honest, raw, and a little bit entertaining. I hope to share my story so people can learn while being therapeutic for myself.

8 thoughts on “Broken – Catches Up”

  1. I’m just catching up, I feel for you. Having feelings for someone, and then being made to feel less than. The waiting, the inconsistency, it is maddening. I don’t think Hailey even knows what she wants, and I feel bad for not just you but every man that comes into her life, she is a hurricane and should come with a warning. I can’t wait to hear more about Darcey, I’m so hopefully with her.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I feel this mental/emotional state you’re in. And Darcey is caught in the cross-fire. So tricky…

    I wonder what kept you from ending it with H. That eternal hope, so far, has been an on-again-off-again rollercoaster. But the heart doesn’t always listen to reason…

    I wonder what happens next. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes poor Darcey. I hate that she became a bit of collateral damage in all this. As far as ending it… I think we never really had a moment where we no longer fell out of love. It is strange. We didn’t have enough in our relationship to ‘realize’ that we no longer loved each other. So I think I was always trapped in that state. I am not sure that wasn’t unintentional.


  3. Honestly, I was glad to see your anger here, my friend! I had been worried you had been repressing this…and it needed to come out! It’s not healthy to keep keep it all inside. It blows my mind that almost a month has passed and still no word. That day she came to your apartment (at the beginning of this second time around with her) she made it seem like she was so sure, that she wanted no one else, and that you two would be together after she left James. At times on this journey, I have felt a lot of animosity towards her…and then days like today, I just feel sorry for her. She is losing you, and you are a worthy person to be with. But you being an amazing guy, doesn’t change that she is so emotionally stunted, immature, and has this inability to handle real-life adult stuff (like managing her time, being honest about feelings, facing hard times in a rational way). If I haven’t told you lately… I really admire you sharing this story with your readers. I hope it is providing you an emotional release, validation of your role in all of this, and some of the support you may have been lacking while on this wild ride. Hugs to you, Matt ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think most of my anger came out in my running. I tried like hell to channel that energy into something positive. I would be pretty jacked up with adrenaline when I would hit the road. Thank you for your support Nora. I always accept hugs from my Blogging Valentine.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. (((((HUGS))))) GIANT ONES!!!! You are my hero! A fuck you attitude and running is absolutely the best thing to do. I’m so sorry towards the end Darcey gets sucked into the poison drama too. I am holding out high hopes for her.

    Liked by 1 person

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