Broken – What Went Wrong

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

In the process of telling Darcey everything. I had to reconcile what had happened. Hailey and I had such little conversation around really any reason we wouldn’t be together. I had to try and make sense of it.

Darcey was helping me and she was grateful to hear the truth. It is hard as this was likely a compromise in the romantic part of our relationship. I couldn’t believe how heart broken I was. Didn’t I always know this was going to happen. But I think there was another side of me that always thought she would be with me because otherwise it’s denial of a natural bond that brings us together.

Darcey couldn’t believe the magnitude of everything. Of how Hailey treated me and everything we had been through. She was thorough. She asked questions and really tried to figure Hailey out. Another display of amazing empathy. She wanted to understand our dynamic, why Hailey would do this to me and why I was so heartbroken.

It wasn’t easy telling someone you know that knows you, that you had an affair. I braced for judgement and the possibility of her hanging up on me. This was someone I was now crying in front of. I was a hot mess. She tried to calm me down and just listen to more of the story.

There were so many layers to it so many moments along the way to discuss how we got here. In conversations with Darcey is the birth of this blog. Her reaction and encouragement told me it was something worth telling. Also it was somewhat therapeutic. But can leave me obsessed at times.

It took me days to catch her up on all this. But one thing was nagging me what was she doing downtown? Near me? Two days in a row? Something isn’t quite right.

In the meantime Thanksgiving arrived. It was a hard one. First one without my daughter. I managed to go to my mother’s house and have a nice meal and a good time. It was quiet but good.

I saw the pictures of my ex-wife and daughter on social media it was a little rough. But I liked it and looked down… what the fuck!!! Hailey again? Seriously. I was soooo pissed. How dare she like a picture of them after all this crap.

I called Darcey and we talked. I went down to the beach the following morning to confront Hailey. She usually does her morning walks there. It made Darcey uncomfortable for me to do this but she trusted and supported me.

I missed Hailey by just a few minutes. Saw her driving by. I sent her a text.

Hi Hailey- I saw the like. I came to the beach this morning to talk to you about boundaries. It seems we need to have a face to face about this. Because I graciously asked you for space and it seems like you are not fully understanding what that means. This space should extend to my wife and daughter. When we can discuss this?

Hailey said: She looks at every one of my stories. Just simply doing as I’ve always done. I can unfollow though as for downtown parking…I work downtown, I’ve been staying downtown, and I’m moving downtown.IG Unliked and unfollowed

Me: You should, not like, or interact with her. I have already explained that I don’t like it and the reasons. It crossed a boundary especially right after you hurt me so much. Beyond that you don’t know what she knows. I don’t know what she knows. You forget James friend requested her 6 or 7 times she will not forget that. And could easily put things together with just some small amount information. So you could possibly just be causing her more pain. Also you have to assume she may know at some point and she will look back and see those and we will both look pretty bad. Now that you have unliked and unfollowed you are just making yourself noticeable. The easiest thing to do is nothing at all.

I have graciously tried to be respectful of your decision to end things and put me in your past. You said you won’t try to avoid me but you have been avoiding me for 6 weeks. That’s a really interesting contradiction. I can’t pretend that nothing happened just because you want to. Just like I am sure James can’t pretend or you can’t pretend James didn’t treat you the way he did. So again if you can’t have a conversation with me please continue to avoid me. If you try to say hi to me in person I will try to have that conversation right then and there. I am trying to be kind and understanding even though your final message was so cold and cruel and you continue to insert yourself in my orbit. my wife and daughter are in that orbit you need to leave it alone. I have done nothing to deserve this I have always treated you with respect and love even when you hurt me.

It felt good to get that out. But at the same time. “I am staying downtown.” What was that? Yep I would find out she is seeing someone TWO BUILDINGS away from me. Literally about half a block away. A mere 90 second walk. Fuck my life!!!