Broken – What Went Wrong

In the process of telling Darcey everything. I had to reconcile what had happened. We had such little conversation around really any reason we wouldn’t be together. I had to try and make sense of it.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

In the process of telling Darcey everything. I had to reconcile what had happened. Hailey and I had such little conversation around really any reason we wouldn’t be together. I had to try and make sense of it.

Darcey was helping me and she was grateful to hear the truth. It is hard as this was likely a compromise in the romantic part of our relationship. I couldn’t believe how heart broken I was. Didn’t I always know this was going to happen. But I think there was another side of me that always thought she would be with me because otherwise it’s denial of a natural bond that brings us together.

Darcey couldn’t believe the magnitude of everything. Of how Hailey treated me and everything we had been through. She was thorough. She asked questions and really tried to figure Hailey out. Another display of amazing empathy. She wanted to understand our dynamic, why Hailey would do this to me and why I was so heartbroken.

It wasn’t easy telling someone you know that knows you, that you had an affair. I braced for judgement and the possibility of her hanging up on me. This was someone I was now crying in front of. I was a hot mess. She tried to calm me down and just listen to more of the story.

There were so many layers to it so many moments along the way to discuss how we got here. In conversations with Darcey is the birth of this blog. Her reaction and encouragement told me it was something worth telling. Also it was somewhat therapeutic. But can leave me obsessed at times.

It took me days to catch her up on all this. But one thing was nagging me what was she doing downtown? Near me? Two days in a row? Something isn’t quite right.

In the meantime Thanksgiving arrived. It was a hard one. First one without my daughter. I managed to go to my mother’s house and have a nice meal and a good time. It was quiet but good.

I saw the pictures of my ex-wife and daughter on social media it was a little rough. But I liked it and looked down… what the fuck!!! Hailey again? Seriously. I was soooo pissed. How dare she like a picture of them after all this crap.

I called Darcey and we talked. I went down to the beach the following morning to confront Hailey. She usually does her morning walks there. It made Darcey uncomfortable for me to do this but she trusted and supported me.

I missed Hailey by just a few minutes. Saw her driving by. I sent her a text.

Hi Hailey- I saw the like. I came to the beach this morning to talk to you about boundaries. It seems we need to have a face to face about this. Because I graciously asked you for space and it seems like you are not fully understanding what that means. This space should extend to my wife and daughter. When we can discuss this?

Hailey said: She looks at every one of my stories. Just simply doing as I’ve always done. I can unfollow though as for downtown parking…I work downtown, I’ve been staying downtown, and I’m moving downtown.IG Unliked and unfollowed

Me: You should, not like, or interact with her. I have already explained that I don’t like it and the reasons. It crossed a boundary especially right after you hurt me so much. Beyond that you don’t know what she knows. I don’t know what she knows. You forget James friend requested her 6 or 7 times she will not forget that. And could easily put things together with just some small amount information. So you could possibly just be causing her more pain. Also you have to assume she may know at some point and she will look back and see those and we will both look pretty bad. Now that you have unliked and unfollowed you are just making yourself noticeable. The easiest thing to do is nothing at all.

I have graciously tried to be respectful of your decision to end things and put me in your past. You said you won’t try to avoid me but you have been avoiding me for 6 weeks. That’s a really interesting contradiction. I can’t pretend that nothing happened just because you want to. Just like I am sure James can’t pretend or you can’t pretend James didn’t treat you the way he did. So again if you can’t have a conversation with me please continue to avoid me. If you try to say hi to me in person I will try to have that conversation right then and there. I am trying to be kind and understanding even though your final message was so cold and cruel and you continue to insert yourself in my orbit. my wife and daughter are in that orbit you need to leave it alone. I have done nothing to deserve this I have always treated you with respect and love even when you hurt me.

It felt good to get that out. But at the same time. “I am staying downtown.” What was that? Yep I would find out she is seeing someone TWO BUILDINGS away from me. Literally about half a block away. A mere 90 second walk. Fuck my life!!!

Author: Matt

Hi, I’m Matt. Just your average uneventful guy. Dedicated Dad, emapth, and nurturer. Going through something I couldn’t possible ever thought possible. My story is called Broken. About an affair at the end of a long marriage and how ultimately I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life. It's honest, raw, and a little bit entertaining. I hope to share my story so people can learn while being therapeutic for myself.

15 thoughts on “Broken – What Went Wrong”

  1. Of course she’s seeing someone. While still with James, or officially separated? It really doesn’t matter. It’s become clear that she cannot be without men. Especially new men. If this hurts you, and I know it does, then you know what to do next.

    Simultaneously you should, once you give yourself permission to grieve and heal, appreciate that you now know what it feels like to have had such an experience. I’m not saying the affair itself, but the connection between you and a woman, one you never had before, with romance and love. The affair is the one unfortunate part of it, and I say this without judgement.

    In terms of seeing someone new so close to a former lover, that says something about her, too. I would have a very challenging time to be confronted of your orbit while in a new dating situation so close to you. It doesn’t seem to bother her. She’s doing it. It tells you it’s another mail in the coffin.

    I’m so sorry, my heart breaks for you. Is there a possibility to move away, somewhere new? Give yourself a fresh start?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. She was still at home while dating this guy. Going to break this behavior down from her side as well as my own. But you really have to ask yourself why?

      I waited to get into the place I am in. Went through a month of couches and airbnbs to get here. It’s a great spot. I am not moving. I was here first. lol!!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh the words I would love to use to describe her, but I wont. But I will say I’d still be more than happy to slap or punch the shit out of her. It’s women like her that harm good men, and make it harder for good women to find a man who will give their all and trust again. I’m so sorry you went through all this, I’m glad you stuck up for yourself, but I will be honest she is playing a game. Her being in your area all the time, and now liking your ex wife’s post is all to get a response out of you. She loves games, she loves attention, she loves herself way too much. It’s all about a power play, she needs a man constantly pining for her. It’s why she kept going back to James, because he was a sure thing, then she tries someone new who doesn’t know what she pulls over and over. I hate that you got pulled into her web, I’m so glad you’ve shared your journey and I hope it’s helped in sharing it. I also hope that she who shall not be named, will fall on her face and find you happy and loved as you so deserve to be.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love you Storm! I might need you to do it. haha. It seems like she loves herself. But I think she hates herself. It’s why she needs to do what she does. If she truly liked herself she wouldn’t need to do these things. External validation is constantly required. She veils her mean spirited activity as “doing what she always does”. There is always plausible deniability in it. Even if you and I know what it is.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can’t help it I’m a Bronx girl at heart and always will be lol. And I see your point in her hating herself, well she can do as what she was always doing and stay miserable. For you Matt I only wish happiness and love to be in your life, though I wouldn’t be surprised if she found a way to come running to you for you to rescue her again one day. Then call me and I’ll give her a 5 finger salute lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I am glad that you were able to completely and honestly confide in Darcey and that she received you with grace, and without judgment.
    As for Hailey…nothing surprises me about this. I only wish you hadn’t been so caught up with her. I am guessing that being in a loveless marriage for so long made you particularly susceptible to her charms. I know that a part of you really wants to believe that what you and Hailey shared was special…but she has shown you time and time again that this is her pattern. She did it to you, and she’ll do it to the next guy, and the guy after that. I’m not saying this to be cruel…but to hopefully give you reason to let go of the idea that the two of you shared something great…because if you think like that, the more likely that you’ll fall for it again in the future when she cycles back….and Matt, she will cycle back at some point. Be expecting that. Maybe not tomorrow, or next month…but one day, when you are least expecting it…she’ll see if she can draw you in again.
    Please remember that you are a quality person. Yes, you had an affair…but this doesn’t define who you are. You have a lot to offer a woman. Hold out for the best… you deserve nothing less ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Hailey. Ugh. She’s a piece of work. Can’t imagine how angering and frustrating this is. She really seems to do as her heart and impulses guide her…not truly thinking of the consequences beyond/outside herself. What a child. Hope that the blog and sharing with Darcey truly has been a helpful outlet.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So I think the question would be is how intentional all this is. I agree she is a piece of work. It is helping. Sometimes it doesn’t but I am start getting past the most painful parts.

      Liked by 1 person

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