Broken – Holidays

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

Moving forward in time parallel telling the story without analysis along analyzing. As this story has legs.

The Up and Down of the Holiday season was so strange. I had to deal with the Parking Games from Hailey. It was kind of torture. How do I get this woman out of my system with constant reminders of her existence. The days she wasn’t around were so good. I would go from one extreme to another. Empowered, strong ready to take her or the world on. The next I would nearly be fetal just wanting it not to hurt anymore.

I have never experienced this before in my life. I was running on adrenaline literally and figuratively. I dropped 8 lbs almost overnight. Darcey would come to visit and tell me I looked like a teenager. My jawline was entirely back, no extra weight in my face for the first time in a long time. I was running as well. Even without eating alot.

In fact I was running so much, I eventually developed tendonitis and had to slow the program down. But what with all this energy do I do? I picked up the weights and did no-impact cardio. I actually developed my own strength training program that would turn weight training into cardio.

And my god the results have been unbelievable. It has basically transformed my body into something I don’t think I have had all through my late 20’s – mid 40’s. It was revenge body x100. I had to buy all new clothes.

Christmas was miserable. I spent time with my kids but it wasn’t the same. It was great to see them but just ugh. Then New Year’s came. Darcey came I even invited Jennifer over but she decided to hang out with Gregg. But never told me more on that later. Darcey and I decided to try an edible. We stayed up through New Years, laughed, fucked, had food, drank. It was not out of control but it was a great night.

It helped because guess who spent New Year’s down the street. It was tough not to remember the promise she made me make two years earlier to plan to never let her spend it without me again. And we never spent that night together. Sometimes I would think who was this guy? Is she in love? How could she easily give him something that seemed so hard to give to me.

January would be a long month. I would talk to Darcey pretty much nightly going over what had happened. Trying to reconcile it all. We were pretty much piecing this thing together like a very informal crime board.

We did note the question many times – “was this actually was good or bad for me?” But it was on my mind. It is the pandemic and time was all I had.