Broken – Confrontation Aftermath

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

In the immediate aftermath that night. I went and got drunk. I had one drink before Hailey at the restaurant, but no longer felt like eating. I got it to go and brought it back home. Then I walked to the nearest bar ordered some fries and had 2 drinks. For me that’s alot. I don’t drink often. I spoke to a few people there laughed about my night and went home. I slept but not all night. I woke up at 3:30 and couldn’t fall back asleep. My body’s response from all of it.

I feel different. Something about Hailey knowing what I know is satisfying. But I didn’t tell her everything. I held back her Dating App hoovers and the constant driving/walking by. Which can now only be described as stalkerish.

As I write this I just actually saw her walk by my building as I was entering from the courtyard entrance she was walking by the front. That marks the 7th or 8th time I have seen her since our confrontation. One time was her driving up the street that faves my buildings courtyard while having dinner. That time was last night.

Having told her to keep her distance she has clearly decided to go the opposite route. Is this her punishment? Really Hailey? This is what was happening before I expected nothing less. I just wanted to let her know and her friend I wasn’t looking to run into her.

I digress. I am in a different place not fully healed but on a different path. I know where I am going now. This last confrontation showed me she has no real humanity at least when it comes to protecting her ego/facade. The act of above it all and no contrition, no apology or even recognition of everything or even anything makes her terrible.

She “put the past behind her” but only her bad behavior. She sure touched me and said hi to me like we had a past. Funny how this works. And this is the danger in dealing with narcissistic people… everything stays in a subtle or gray area space. This is what allows them to gaslight. Plausibility is their stick and gaslighting is the carrot. There is a tiny bit of truth in her lies. She can say she barely touched me. That is true but the way she did and where she did would or could not be mistaken for anything other than affection/intimacy/flirtation.

So I said I would be honest with my audience and I will tell you I have created a “last man over the bridge blows it up” document.

It’s not something I am proud of but now that I have confronted her and she may continue to triangulate me with the new guy. If she pushes too hard or if he comes up to me I am handing him a piece of paper with the dating app dirty little secret.

Maybe he cares maybe he doesn’t but she sure as shit does not want us talking. And that is all I need for me to confirm that anything I tell him will be news to him and will hurt her. I am going to actively try to avoid this moment. I want to put this down. But she is almost literally and beyond figuratively in my space in my face like a child saying “I am not touching you, I am not touching you.”

Last thought. The patterns of these people are what get noticed. Very rarely do they ever get attributed back to a certain something that causes it. Most people chalk it up to shitty behavior maybe even one-offs. Darcey has sent me so many songs lately about heartbreak that only sound like dealing with a narcissist including the one below.

Quick note though. I had a good weekend. Hope my readers did as well. 🙂

Amos Lee – Charles St. The lyrics are poetic and so dead on. Sounds like Amos had is own Hailey.

LoLita, you’re a cheater
I don’t wanna see you again
You had the guts to tell me
You were my best friend
Aww but best friends
They don’t do me like ya done
You broke my heart to have a little fun

You call me up crying
Saying it was just a fling
I think you’re just trying ta feel better
About doing a shitty thing
Aw but save them tears
I hope you feel ashamed
Cuz deep inside I’m gonna take the blame

Every man has his pride
Even though he keeps it locked up
Deep down inside
And I know just little kids
Can swap out the lights
Of what you did

LoLita, you’re a cheater
I don’t wanna see you no more
You showed up again cryin’
Outside of my front door
Aw but save them tears
I hope you feel ashamed
Cuz deep inside I’m gonna take the blame

And next time you go downtown to fuck that asshole
Do one last thang for me
Don’t park your car down on Charles St.
That’s how I get out 83