Broken – Revenge

I didn’t take this route purposefully. But it also happens to be the same path, in the beginning, as trying to escape a narcissist. And I was and am trying to escape. It is supposed to be no contact.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

I didn’t take this route purposefully. But it also happens to be the same path, in the beginning, as trying to escape a narcissist. And I was and am trying to escape. It is supposed to be no contact. But that didn’t work so I confronted Hailey that night. That really didn’t work either as she had to talk to her guy and he ended up following me so I needed to do something else. And that is why I approached him.

And that is when this went from escape to revenge. I still consider it escape but my actions will seem like revenge to some. As I now am a threat to expose her and damage her relationship. But I don’t want to or care anymore about exposing her as much as I care about protecting myself and finding my peace.

But there was an intended consequence of approaching him. I could tell that night I confronted her how panicked she would be. And right then I knew how to control her. To keep her close to him and far away from me. Any approach towards me is more evidence against her. Not picking up the phone the other night. Leaving it as a missed call on my records. Keeps the evidence piling up. Also will destroy any narrative that “I want her back”.

Putting it all on a piece of paper at first might seem strange. But the threat of it’s existence is an asset. The threat of the truth keeps her under control. And allows me to breathe. I did something unexpected, I didn’t ask him for answers. I offered them.

I even had a stroke of good luck the other day. I walked by him the other morning and we said hi. Just friendly no conversation. So I don’t appear eager just someone walking around knowing more than they do. At this point he doesn’t trigger me. Them being together doesn’t trigger me. But me and him triggers her. Less than 45 minutes later as I went out I saw her at his place. Um can you say damage control? I am sure he told her. And now the triangulator is triangulated. I am sure she has been trying to explain with epic failure at what this is all about. I know first hand… she sucks at it.

I have to admit it’s a little delicious. Still I need to put it down for now or for good. Pressing doesn’t do anything. I just need to stay at a distance and if it comes to close just pick it off. I now know how to control her but the reason I can is because I no longer think emotionally about it. Liberating actions like telling her I know she lied. Approaching him makes the threat of the truth surfacing real. But still I need to put it down for now.

The justice warrior part is hard to suppress. Darcey is helping me. Steering any future energy to next steps gets redirected at myself. Darcey and I have come up with a strategy if ruminating about delivering more justice dominates my thoughts. And it’s a good one. I will continue to invest more energy into me. But this also brought up something. It might seem like this was ‘wasted’ energy. But the truth is I needed to figure this out for myself. Or it would eat away at me. I needed to take action or it was in my lap.

I already know the next steps and they are all based on reactions and it’s time to lock that away in a box until they are needed. There will be no plans to proactively pursue this.

She has built a relationship with him and destroyed mine with her simultaneously she has linked us in such a way that gave her delicious fuel of all kinds for 6 months. Triangulation like you read about. But it’s also her fatal flaw. She linked her relationship with him to me and it is all built on lies, deception, and cheating.

I don’t have to make up stories just simply expose the truth. This may or may not threaten her relationship but that isn’t what this is about and I don’t care either way. It just exposes who she really is and that is the revenge on the narcissist. But that doesn’t even matter to me either. In the end it is about boundaries. Her staying a respectful distance away. Like a person should after they fuck someone over, ghosted, dated the guy two doors down, and never told either person about it, then antagonized the heartbroken for months with it.

She should have been far more empathetic all along. So I don’t feel bad. Being a threat to her ‘happiness’ doesn’t supersede my need for peace and happiness. Sorry Hailey or anyone who thinks I should eat a shit sandwich for it. I would happily tell you to fuck off as well. She made her bed. I still just want out and if this is the way out then SO BE IT. I still consider it escape.

But technically in the narc world this is considered ‘revenge’. HG Tudor talks about revenge on the narcissist. And it come after emotional thinking is at a minimal. Check! And exposing the narcissist from an arms length. Double check! Do not to over pursue stay under control. Triple check!!!

I will still talk about the triangulation part and manipulations in future posts but it will be about looking back on her behavior. In order to expose the machinations of and this particular narcissism. But this is to putting a cap, temporary or otherwise, on the current path regarding this ‘relationship’ with Hailey. And it feels good.

Author: Matt

Hi, I’m Matt. Just your average uneventful guy. Dedicated Dad, emapth, and nurturer. Going through something I couldn’t possible ever thought possible. My story is called Broken. About an affair at the end of a long marriage and how ultimately I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life. It's honest, raw, and a little bit entertaining. I hope to share my story so people can learn while being therapeutic for myself.

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