I am pretty close to never venturing out and looking for Hailey. It is hard to not to notice when she is close. Which happened to be right in front of my building again yesterday. But it was about 6 days in between seeing her which was great!!
I think that was too much and she decided she would venture closer. It’s sick. Something happened between them yesterday and I am not sure what it was. It is immaterial at this point but the fact that I can see it and sense it from my vantage point demonstrates how terribly close all this is.
The weekend was really good. I had a great time on the whore tour. But it was marred with just awful weather. The town was slightly empty probably because of the Holiday. But we had a great ‘getaway’. I was so drunk Friday night I can barely tell you what happened later that night. But we were out in our little swanky location having great drinks, food, seeing and being seen.
We ate and drank so much I gained about 5lbs. Good thing I can absorb that. Friday was great. We went to a favorite diner of mine for brunch. Then picked up some edilbes. lol. We worked out then went to dinner. Dinner was amazing I got a bone in filet, didn’t even know there was that. And we had a great steak house dinner. So yummy.
Then we headed to the lounge and people watched on Friday night. We were at this lounge for 6 (that’s right) hours. We had some edibles and it was mellow. Not the reaction we wanted but we took one before we had that great meal and then one after. I am not a big on pot but every now and then. It’s funny the high and the drunk cancel each other out a bit. So I drank quite a bit. The table next to use had 3 separate parties come through.
The first was 4 attractive women in their 30’s. One was barely wearing anything. They were there enjoying each others company and it brought a smile to both Darcey and I. The next was a group of 20 something obnoxious girls. Who kept taking selfies. They were dressed for attention. One girl was even wearing lingerie as her outfit. But it was fun to watch. The next group was obnoxious period. Just a group of young privileged kids who were loud. One girl in the group kept flashing that night so I did see some boobs this weekend. Haha.
Before this Darcey said she would be my wingman. I think both of us were too stoned to make “something” happen but she is the best wingman. As she couldn’t whore me out we ended up having sex and I railed her both nights. Just so everyone knows we affectionately call each other whores. Based on my surprising number of dalliances this past year. She even tried to count the number of escapades this weekend. And she might be right I think I did “whore” it up a little. It was a little embarrassing as trying to count it all up proved to be difficult.
I need to detox this week. Lots of running assuming my foot cooperates. Grrrrr. My friend Christy had a relapse with her Narcissist. And hers is going on year 3. They broke up 3 years ago. He made a fake FB account to antagonize her. And made some ridiculous assumption her and I were dating (we never actually met in person). He messaged me on social media as well. I didn’t engage and blocked him. But just ugh. I have my own narcissistic drama. But also seeing the use of social media to trigger their victims just awful.
It’s a reminder of what I am dealing with as well. Darcey and I were discussing this at one point and were noting that it is more dangerous for the female while engaging with Narcissistic men because of the physical dimension. That being said people are less likely to believe me in regards to the abuse. “How could this nice pleasant person abuse you.” It is probably more believable I am stalking Hailey vs. her stalking me. “How could a beautiful woman stalk you?” It barely seems believable. But if you shadowed me for a week you would know.
Anyways. Things are going decently. I have had setbacks with this but for the most part I am on course to break my habit in 21 days. I wanted to detox from any reaction to her but it’s just not possible to get far enough away at this particular time to make that happen.