Darcey and I had a funny conversation the other day. Centered around oral sex and the fact that I keep telling her she should be an intimacy coach. She understands all the nuances of intimacy… feel, touch, eye contact, sharing, sounds… pretty much everything including the connection.
But she is also smart and not probably giggly enough to help and teach someone. But I am fascinated with intimacy. As we do crave the physical pleasures of just sex, but just the physical only last in the moments. It’s the intimacy the deeper feeling that will make us want more and have the moment last with us longer. It make us more whole. Or at least that is what I think.
I feel like most people aren’t comfortable with it. Looking in someone’s eyes while you are buried within them or vice versa is a vulnerable state. Staring into someone else’s eyes can be tricky. If there isn’t a comfort level with that kind of intimacy.
I remember all those lonely sexless years of marriage and it was really intimacy I missed. Someone so attracted to me they wanted to spend that kind of time with me. Intimacy can even be there for one night. It can even be there in pound town or very physical sex.
Connecting with someone on this level makes ok sex good, good sex great, and so on and so on. You don’t even need to have sex to achieve intimacy and sometimes that can form a deeper connection.
But I am going to steer this back in the direction of the “blow job”. This is where I appreciate an intimate touch the most. I know I have used this term before a bj is like pizza it’s never that bad. But I have had some interesting experiences.
The toothy one. The one where you feel like you are on the ragged edge of being skinned alive. A white knuckle ride from hell. But you never stop it because well you are getting some.
The over achiever. The girl who is trying to make you cum in 3 minutes as if she was in a contest. Trust me this is not what most men wants unless the situation called for it. I do have a sensitive spot that can get it done with efficiency. But you need to go up the hills of the rollercoaster to go down them. The anticipation, the act, the visuals all work for you. Unless you want to get it over I suggest against this or save it for when he is ready.
The sloppy. Some people like this. I don’t know, it’s not really for me. Maybe sometimes during role play or extreme dominance. But it is like you are right out of a porn. All the spitting and jerking and chaos… It’s hard to ‘feel’ what is going on.
The intimate one. For me it’s the perfect one. I have had some just memorable moments here and it’s been when women take there time, make eye contact. Essentially someone making love to your dick. It is beautiful, intimate, erotic, and feels amazing. You can never go wrong here.
Honorable mention: hanging her head off the bed face fuck. It is a little bit different than a straight bj. But I love this. The sheer dominant position you are in. You can control so much. Including how much control you give her. Free her hands, pin her hands, access to her body. Face plant and you are in a 69. It’s sexy as hell. So many options and you can do whatever the mood fits.