It’s the hardest thing to do with a Narcissist. They feel entitled to you forever. But certainly harder when they live so close. The parking games aside I have pretty much moved on but I have these intuitions and feelings that are hard to suppress. I am an analyst. I notice patterns and things. It’s like shutting off like the main engine and running on limited power.
Because when I actively try to shut it off and she gets anxious, she shows up. I came home from my run the other day and there she was with her friend sitting prominently in the restaurant, in my building. I was not looking for her, I notice everyone that sits in there. It was deflating. I hadn’t seen her face in about 7 days. But I notice when I go that long she makes a harder effort to be near me.
Quite frankly I am surprised by her friend. Darcey pointed out to me at some point she knows that she is creating drama. And why would she want to be a part of it. She knows that I live there, she knows that I am a decent person. Why would you enable the antagonist. It all made kind of sad. Like I just want to be done already. It would be the one restaurant you would never want to set foot in if you were Hailey or her friend that knew what happened.
Anyways I ran into that cute blonde girl the other night while walking my dog. She immediately recognized us. I didn’t recognize her right away. We talked for a bit and I know have her name. And she thanked me for the suggestion of the restaurant said she has been back 3 or 4 times already.
All I can continue to do is just do me. It really hasn’t affected me much until yesterday. Just had a moment of enough already. Tonight I am going out with Darcey. So I will have a good time and shake this out of me.
I read an article the other day it’s about being an empath or trauma survivor or both. It talks about the heightened state of awareness an empath and the similarly trauma part. I have been turned up to 11 since that day Hailey told James that she was having an affair. That was three years ago.
Every time I seem to settle back she reminds me that she isn’t going anywhere. It’s exhausting. Her life and the fallout from the craziness. Rebound time. Though. Beautiful day a long run and fun night ahead. Time to put the latest setback behind.