I always thought Hailey manipulations were just for me post discard/escape. It’s hard not to think of it being just about you as I was the focus of them for so long. But last night I remembered something. I am still useful to her. And that sucks. How am I useful?
She can use me to manipulate new guy. There she was in the restaurant in my building again. Twice in less than a week. Is the food that good? It can be but certainly not for in-person dining twice in less than a week.
It was exactly the same scenario. I was coming from my run and turning the corner there they were. Prominently in roughly the same spot as last time she was there with her friend. They sat inside… that’s strange. It was perfect weather last night. Stay close but keep enough distance. She is good. I only briefly looked. Looked like they were arguing. Then it hit me… “she still needs me.”
I forgot about her manipulating him and her need to triangulate both sides. She used James against me and vice versa for a long time. She made it her first order of business after being away to drive by and walk by again yesterday. Here is the most messed up thing. Darcey and I deduced she can see me on my walk(s) and then makes sure she gets out to cross my path. It’s an impossibility to have seen each other this much since I have varied my walking time all over the place.
Today I changed my route to avoid walking within sight of his building to start my walk. By the time she would notice me I would be gone. That realization felt good. It was good timing as I read a post from another blogger about a narcissist coming back into her life out of nowhere. They never leave it alone. It’s not an obsession as much as their facade is their obsession and you are a part of that facade so they do obsess over you by proxy.
And here is why. The need to try and create the reality that they have lied about or lied to themselves about. Because their facade is built upon it. Which is a mile wide and an inch deep. There is no foundation and can crumble any minute. They really rely on good people to give up or give in and on the “prove me wrong that it is a lie” routine. Essentially breaking down their facade becomes exhausting. Mostly because by the time you figure out their old lie they are onto a new one.
Think about this guy… he is in my building all he has to do is be curious enough to ask the question. He is literally feet from answering any of the questions that I know he has… Because I have had them. If he just goes for it, it is likely over for her. Yet she comes near with him. It’s drama fuel, triangulation, and manipulation. I have to tell you it will be a long time before I would have ex’s in the same space. Yikes!
And even if she wasn’t naturally curious I still represent one half of the most fuel she can have right now. Sitting in that restaurant trying to control me, control him, the power… the significance… the manipulation that she has there is a narcissists dream.