Broken – Bromance

So I am noodling over a post because I can’t get my thoughts clear on it. So I figured I would reach out whilst twisting it to death. It was a funny I had another elevator/Darcey moment last night.

I went to pick up some new counter stools, because I didn’t like my other ones. By the way… I am basically a girl. Decor matters to me. And not like I am the only guy that it does but I spent at least 2 hours hunting for the right candle tray. Just sayin… But it was a very masculine one… ok! I am also a nurturer by nature. I actually remember telling Darcey I wasn’t “a total vag” when we first started talking and it segued into sex. To which she died laughing and we laugh to this day about. Normally I establish my affinity for feminism before using a term like that.

Anyways enough about me being a girl… I went to a restaurant after to grab a quick bite and talked to Darcey on my way home. I told her about how some guy chatted me up. I said I can’t pick up a woman to save my life, but guys love to talk to me when I am out. What is that? We spoke about running and he was a really good runner in high school. I told him about a run I had recently and how I hit a runner’s high. That only happens like once every 50 runs or so. And we talked about life and the importance of self care. Anyways he said it was one of the best talks he had in a while, thanked me, offered me a shot (I politely declined), Then shook my hand two or three times.

I told most of that to Darcey on my walk home. We laughed. We also talked about eating pussy and then someone nearly ran me down with her car the woman apologized I said “no problem, and thank you.” For letting me cross the street. Darcey was horrified thinking that woman heard me talk about eating pussy. I said no and we laughed some more.

I arrived back at my building grabbed my stools and on the way to the elevator I stopped for this couple to let them on, while holding my box. (trying not to giggle with the box comment after calling myself a vag).

So Darcey goes quiet I ask what floor they are on and I stab the number with the corner of my box (totally giggling). Before the guy could get out “we can get that.” He then said “that looks heavy”. Then said “well you are a big strong guy so I guess not so much.” I said “it’s not that bad, but did arms today so not so good either.”

I wasn’t a half a second off the elevator before Darcey started to tease me about the man love that I just received. She was like “you are such a little whore, why don’t you just advertise you work out.” She couldn’t stop teasing me and laughing at me. She even’t teased me already twice this morning. The bro love I get is funny. The elevator experiences are making me think I should have my own show of elevator snippets.

This isn’t meant to be sad, but I commented last night. I wish I could see myself as the world does. Then we laughed and said I would be even a bigger whore than I am. But truth is maybe I am overly self aware or not self aware enough. Who knows it is something to explore… maybe. I appreciate my humility. I don’t think I am that insecure but maybe just not as forward as I could be.

This isn’t just about meeting women. It’s about meeting people in general. There is an INFJ thing that is such a blocker. Don’t want to burden anyone with their time. Someday I may figure this out, if I don’t I will still be ok but it would be nice.