Broken and Blocked

I am really blocked lately. No inspiration or whatever to write. I sit in front of a blank page and… nothing. I did have a post that deals with perspective and dating woes but they flowed like chunky spoiled milk.


I am really blocked lately. No inspiration or whatever to write. I sit in front of a blank page and… nothing. I did have a post that deals with perspective and dating woes but they flowed like chunky spoiled milk. There are times when your schedule can be busy and overwhelming and I guess this is one of them. I will get around to the posts soon.

I never wear being overwhelmed visibly… typically. I just lock it all inside take it one thing at a time until I reach the other side of being overwhelmed. I have always been good in these situations, perhaps military training. But make no mistake it effects me. I still feel it. I am exhausted. I still have moments and am vulnerable.

Last night I nearly physically bumped into Hailey. I walked down the street and was going to a dive to have one drink then home. I was so tired. That dive is past her business. Well as I walked across the last crosswalk she was coming to cross the street from the other direction I never saw her until I noticed the walk signal turn on to cross the street. I didn’t push it so I realized someone else had and looked up and she was coming at me. She was heading to her business obviously but ugh.

This is not the best week for that. While she is “gone” from my immediate area she is starting to show up in my space again. While she has a legit reason to go, it was 8:20 at night. Definitely not expected. Twice in 3 days we were within 5 feet of each other. We locked eyes this time. I called Darcey she talked me down I went a little further away for my drink.

I am sad. This feels never ending. But the good news is it ill effects me. There was an ironic twist to all of this I had Chinese food the other night when I ran into her. Fortune swear to god said “the love of your life will unexpectedly appear in front of you”. Haha!! I think it was a warning not a message of encouragement.

Don’t worry I don’t think it’s a sign or anything. Normally this is where I would give you the Ironic video but… nope. I have been listening to this when I get overwhelmed there is a optimistic sadness to it. And it is an unplugged version it’s beautiful. But it goes to show you when someone writes a great song… it’s just a great song and this one has had a resurgence recently and even every kid now knows this song. Take On Me!! Well done AHA… you made a classic another classic.

Author: Matt

Hi, I’m Matt. Just your average uneventful guy. Dedicated Dad, emapth, and nurturer. Going through something I couldn’t possible ever thought possible. My story is called Broken. About an affair at the end of a long marriage and how ultimately I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life. It's honest, raw, and a little bit entertaining. I hope to share my story so people can learn while being therapeutic for myself.

4 thoughts on “Broken and Blocked”

  1. I started to email you and then didn’t. I think Cassandra is ‘dying’… or merging with me. Anyway, hang in there. I understand the slump. It can’t last, can it? It won’t… And you have Darcey to talk you down, which is so helpful.

    And the Chinese cookie message – so ironic! lol This is when the tapping into your intuition is so helpful. In this case it was literal (but it could also mean the love of your life is just around the corner).

    Liked by 1 person

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