Broken – The Close Call

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

We were starting to get so deep in each other. I don’t know how but we spent a significant amount of time together. I would say on average we saw each other twice a week at least. Sometimes even for a quick smooch and hug. This was really the sweet part. We would talk about our lives, kids, wishes… none of it felt wrong. I know it wasn’t ideal but we found each other when we needed it the most.

This always led to us wanting it more. The closer we got the more time we wanted to spend together so we would both look for opportunities to do it. Then one day… I was going to be alone on a Saturday afternoon. A rarity for me. As usually all my weekend time was devoted to family. And I am not complaining I loved my family dynamic. I asked “Where can we meet?”. We kind of hemmed and hawed and I jokingly said you can come to my house. As I knew my family was at an event.

She said “Sure!”. In my head there was mostly uh-oh… “Really?” she was like why not? Now I didn’t think it was a great idea but the excitement of seeing her overrode any rational thought. I said ok meet me at the office park parking lot and I will pick you up.

She was there she looked good she had come from work and I was more averagely dressed. I drove to my house and we went through the garage then to the basement. I figured and justified it as mostly my space anyways. Clothes came off quickly I laid her down on the couch and played with her while on me knees and kissing her. I quickly climbed on top, no time to waste. I started to fuck her pretty hard as I thought a quickie was best. It didn’t quite happen that way. She was moaning and I was basically going to pound town. I wasn’t quite there and she climbed on top of me and she started to ride me when suddenly…

My phone rang… uh-oh!! Only one person gets past my silenced phone. I had to pick up. My voice went up about 2 octaves. “Hello” the panic had to be in my voice as Hailey immediately started to get dressed. The event had been cancelled due to some malfunctioning equipment and she was on her way home. Probably about 10 minutes away. I hung up. “SHIT!” I never had to say anything. I was afraid Haley was going to be held hostage in my basement until I could smuggle her out.

I managed to pull my jeans up and throw on a shirt. not underwear. I don’t even think i zipped or buttoned. I found my shoes. No socks. The place smelled like her and sex. No time for that. Getting her out is the priority. I told her to wait at the garage door I am right behind you. I went first to the car and waved her in. I said get in the back seat and duck. She did. I started to pull away thinking please don’t pull in right now.

I backed out of the drive way as quickly but smoothly as I could. I drove down the street. One more obstacle to dodge I may pass them on the way bringing her back. Luckily nothing. I dropped her off quick kiss. Still had to get home before they did. I never thought I was going to make it. But squeaked in 2 minutes before they did I even managed to put socks on and button and zip my pants. Still no underwear but I managed to go downstairs febreeze and make sure there was not aftermath.

That was close! It was funny we laughed about it so much later even on the drive to her car. It kind of said something to me. Neither one of us would ever want to be caught that way, that idea horrified us. But we weren’t necessarily disliking the idea of being free to be together. A notion that started to gain some steam without us ever really talking about it…

Broken – More Sex

It had been about a month and I probably had more sex with Hailey more than I had in the last 4 years of my life. We did it everywhere in my office, hotels, cars. Pretty much where ever we could.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

It had been about a month and I probably had more sex with Hailey more than I had in the last 4 years of my life. We did it everywhere in my office, hotels, cars. Pretty much where ever we could. We didn’t even need to be naked or playing, just our kissing and fucking mostly clothed was still unbelievable. Our chemistry and connection were that special.

We would sneak in so many one hour parking garage/lot visits. But my absolute favorite was when she showed up in camo yoga pants and sports bra. I just felt always so lucky to be with her especially when she looked like that. I am not a shallow person at all I required a deep connection. And because it was there her beauty made it more so. One could argue that she wasn’t the most beautiful girl I ever dated or had been with but she was the one I was attracted to the most. Anyways back to the parking lot…

She pulled in and she always drove the most notable cars a big SUV. She pulled in next to me and we hopped in my back seat. I had pretty well tinted windows there wasn’t much anyone could see. I thought it was a typical day and we would kiss and she would climb on top of me and we would fuck until I came inside her.

This was different. She pulled down my pants and was on her knees on the floor of the car. She looked right at me as she started to wrap her lips around my dick. This is what sexy and sex is supposed to be. She made lots of eye contact and varied between making love to my cock and going faster and more deliberate. I could tell she wanted me to cum in her mouth and that only accelerated the process.

She continued to look up at me when she would kiss and lick the top of me and make me shudder every time she would go fully down on me. I knew it was coming soon. Normally i might close my eyes or wince because it is so intense. Especially when I am getting a blow job. But I stayed looking at her. I say what I mostly say. “I am going to cum” she looked at me and I exploded inside her mouth. She swallowed most of it but did something I didn’t expect she let some of it drip out of her mouth as she smiled at me. Mind blown, she really new how to deliver sexy visuals.

She then climbed on my lap and we kissed. Breaking the fourth wall here… Guys let a woman kiss you after. You never taste it and it makes them feel better. It’s an easy thing to get over as the reward is great. Off my soap box. Another great experience in between all the others. This one was filed away in the spank bank and is used quite frequently. How many more could we have like this…

Broken – Routine and First Real World Encounter

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

We would alternate between a few hotel visits and my office. We would see each other a few times a week. We would talk extensively throughout the day. She would always say “tell me something…” and that was her cue to have me write another story about her. I made a video for her. It was me cumming. Fortunately i was gifted with the ability to shoot and I had a pretty full ejaculate. For a woman who was sexual they would like it.

She would continue to send me sexy pictures. I was over the moon. It was getting sexier and sexier. But we were also having a dialogue we started to peel back layers. It was easy to talk to each other. We operated on a similar frequency. And even our non verbal communication connected. We had a similar sense of humor and had the ability to laugh at ourselves.

As we were talking we both realized something. It’s school orientation… “Shit!” I thought. We will have to be in the same area together. This stressed me out and maybe excited me a little bit. But much more stressful. I arrived early with wife and kids. I was honestly hoping we would arrive at very different times. After all she wasn’t always on time…. Yep “Nope!” She was one of 10 people standing in the lobby. We locked eyes half smiles. She looked great as usual. I wanted to grab her and kiss her right there but for obvious reason would never.

She came with just her oldest and friends. Most of the kids sat in the back together and the adults sat closer. I knew she was just a couple rows behind me. I was nearly sweating as I am was thinking i hope I am attractive from this angle. The orientation was over we half smiled one more time.

I got home she messaged me… “You looked so cute and good I couldn’t stand it”. I was riding so high. I haven’t felt that way in over a decade. She was beautiful and fun and knew how to make me feel. We survived the first in-person run in. And it was a little fun. What would come next was all I could think about…

Broken – First Hotel Date

So I drove to the hotel. It was midweek and I had to check in at 11AM. This was always the worst feeling. I am naturally a risk adverse person and there is so much risk. You give them your name and a form of payment. There is a record of you being where you are not supposed to be.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

So I drove to the hotel. It was midweek and I had to check in at 11AM. This was always the worst feeling. I am naturally a risk adverse person and there is so much risk. You give them your name and a form of payment. There is a record of you being where you are not supposed to be. Not too mention there is always a strange look from the front desk about checking in mid day when you live near by. You would think they would just be trained to ignore it but maybe I was thinking they were looking closer than they were. Anyways… swallow hard and get past it.

I was there earlier than her. I brought some alcohol. I needed to calm my nerves and it always gets me more in a mood sexy, risky, more aggressive. Being an INFJ empath there is a natural state of trying to feel the vibe and analyze the surroundings. But i needed to be bolder and less in my head. Booze helps. I downed two drinks of vodka with a mixers. Always my go to. I would plan to have one when she go there.

I nervously awaited her arrival. Excited and ready as well. She arrived and brought some wine with her we both had a drink before I pulled her in and kissed her. It was magic when we kissed. I brought her over to the bed put her up there on her knees and grabbed both her arms and with one hand pinned both her wrists behind her while continuing to kiss her. I even teased her a little and this drove her a bit crazy. She looked so sexy. She was in jeans and a shirt. We got her out of those quickly. I wanted to have lots of foreplay and had her naked before I removed one item of my own clothing.

I undressed her and she was naked still had tan lines from her trip and my god she looked sooo good. She had hips to die for, her boobs were amazing, fake but not terribly so. Her nipples were perfect. I kissed her and started to touch her. I rubbed her clit until she was wet and then slid my finger in her. There was something about her that brought out my inner primal side. I grabbed her there as if I owned it. And she loved it. I played with her, went down on her but she wanted me. I started to relinquish back some control.

She unzipped my pants and took me in her mouth. It felt soooo good. She gives a sexy bj. I continued to play and touch her while she was sucking my cock. The more I stimulated her she moaned with her mouth full of me. I love that! And then she said what every guy wants to hear. “Fuck me please”.

I climbed on top and pushed inside her and started to fuck her slowly. I think she wanted it rough. But I was afraid I would cum in like 10 seconds. I started to get nervous again after that last finish. I should have just taken control again and told her I wanted it this way but didn’t. I have had so little sex in the last several years that I didn’t have any feeling for my stamina. I started to go faster and anytime i felt it getting close I would slow down. Except one time I felt it getting away from me. I pulled out of her and couldn’t tell if I stopped it or I came. “Oy vey” was all I could think in my head. What just happened? I don’t even know. For christ sakes Matt get your shit together.

Whether it was an orgasm or a faux one I still don’t know to this day but I went limp. And all I could think of “Are you fucking kidding me, I get a hard on in a decent wind. You have a hot girl here what the holy hell is going on.” I couldn’t explain it. All i would tell her is that i get overheated, which is true, but I am not sure that was the case.

I went right back to playing with her for a bit. She never made me feel less than because of it but i knew she wasn’t happy. But I got playful. I took her by the hand and brought her in front of a mirror. I kissed her neck and ran my hands over her body and told her how sexy she looked. And she liked seeing my hands run over her tanned body. Then I felt it again, “Thank god” This time I went big I kind of half picked her up and shoved her on the bed with force. She gasped and I fucked her while standing at the end of the bed while she laid on it. Finally a good fuck and I came.

This was a great day probably one of my fondest memories of her. It is when our connection went deeper. I literally had meaningful conversation with her with my fingers inside her grabbing her pussy. It was silly, fun, sexy, and deep all at the same time. Could it ever be this good again…

Broken – The Aftermath

So we had our first date and I went home on cloud nine but also in a little bit of anxiousness. I wondered would she focus on the connection or my awkwardness. It could be endearing but some women like their men smooth and sophisticated.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

So we had our first date and I went home on cloud nine but also in a little bit of anxiousness. I wondered would she focus on the connection or my awkwardness. It could be endearing but some women like their men smooth and sophisticated. I was capable of this but early on with her I was a mix of both. But would there be more?

We spent the next couple days talking and she wanted to see me again… Yes!! She had this amazing ability to make me feel so wanted. She would say “when can I see you again” I would live off her asking that for quite some time. So much so I forgot to ask her at times.

We talked about what’s next and the challenges of knowing each other and being in such close proximity. She would remind me all the time “2.7 miles”. She said “don’t fall in love with me” and explained men seem to do that with her. I told her ditto… I have always been described by those who know me with a great range of sweet and sexy. By default I am a nurturer and give people I care about my all. So I have had my share of girls that “fell” for me.

She asked what happens if it gets too serious I said “we will just have to say goodbye”. I meant every word of this and she said “Ok”. I never had an intention of leaving my marriage. Then she asked “how long do we do this” I said 4 years. That was the time when our kids would have graduated high school. She said “OK!” I was surprised initially by that. As i said it tongue in cheek but she was enthusiastic about it. And i thought to myself that would be awesome and could we get there.

After we had that discussion we quickly changed back to ok when and where are we meeting. We talked about sex, I sent her another story of erotica in what I would do to her, she sent me a dirty picture and I suggested why don’t we get a room. Her response “Yes!”. I set the day. It would be day time. I got excited and nervous again how will this go…

Broken – The First Meeting

As we narrowed our meeting to a day and time we had some obstacles to overcome. It would be a couple weeks from when we matched to the time we could meet. But that day was coming. In between that time I would send her long texts of erotica.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

As we narrowed our meeting to a day and time we had some obstacles to overcome. It would be a couple weeks from when we matched to the time we could meet. But that day was coming. In between that time I would send her long texts of erotica. Stuff from my head that I would like to do to her. She really liked it. I tend to think different than most men when it comes to sex and the build up and she really appreciated that.

We decided to meet probably on a Wed. or mid week. We both had freedom from work and she said she could meet me near my office. At that time I was working almost solo out of my office. I was the only one ever there. There was a decent restaurant across the street. I invited her to meet me there and I would be at the bar. I arrived early and she arrived late… she was always a few minutes late. She is chaotic by nature but it wasn’t egregious, or at least at that time.

I was nervous and excited and finally saw the top of her head. She is around 5’4 with blonde shorter hair and petite but curvy. She has a beautiful all american girl next door face, but knows how to carry herself and she adds sex appeal. Think Jennifer Anniston. She spots me and comes sit next to me. We introduce each other and start with conversation.

Our conversation flows easily, she likes to listen to me and engages very well in dialogue. We even have a funny moment where I gasped at something we both liked. She teased me but I liked that. Because earlier when all was revealed she also teased me that she thought I was gay. Which would be an ongoing joke for a long time.

She made me feel confident and brought out a good kind of playful even risky side to me. This would factor into many different encounters in the future. But in that moment it felt great. I had to take a phone call in the middle of our lunch as she finished her french onion soup. I quickly came back 10 minutes later and she sat closer and i opened myself to her. I could feel this going in a sexy direction. She even ran her hand up my thigh I thought she would stop well short of my package. But nope she grabbed hold. I was in heaven.

At that moment I asked her back to the office so I could kiss her. She accompanied me back and I made her feel at home took her jacket and then grabbed her face gently and kissed her sensually and passionately as if life depended on it. And wow!! It was electric we kissed the same exact way. It was insane.

I figured that is as far as it would go as that this is a pretty good start, but she turned around and pressed her amazing ass against my crotch and I couldn’t believe what we were about to do. I pulled her pants down with her help and then unzipped myself and pushed my way in her as quickly as I could. As I bent her back over my desk. It wasn’t about rushing, it was about feeling her as closely as I could. This was sexy but there was something underlying our connection. I began to grab her hips and thrust into her. She did one of the sexiest things a woman can do she looked back and looked me in the eyes.

I continued to fuck her right there in the office. And I thought wow! I can’t believe I am doing this. She wanted me on top of her. So she laid down on the floor and i climbed on top. I started to push my way in her and give her some more on the floor. But the funniest thing was happening. My knees were getting so rug burned it was distracting me something awful. I was also starting to overheat. So I was instantly a mess. I said let’s change. So I pulled out and stood up. I was so out of sorts that I started to cum while she was laying down and I was standing up. It went everywhere. On her, the floor, I was laughing, she was laughing. But I was also mortified. I looked like a clumsy oof and it kind of didn’t finish the way that encounter should have but, she has a great sense of humor so it kind of also worked too. She stayed a bit. I kissed her goodbye and thought… “will my embarrassing finish make her ever want to see me again” all I could do is text her later and hope…

Broken – Texting

After sending my message thanking her for understanding I was expecting a “you’re welcome” and that was about it. She started to engage more and started teasing me a little in a very flirty way. She said aren’t you curious to know who I am. I said “Of course!!”

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

After sending my message thanking her for understanding I was expecting a “you’re welcome” and that was about it. She started to engage more and started teasing me a little in a very flirty way. She said aren’t you curious to know who I am. I said “Of course!!” but respected her need for discretion. She gave me terrible hints. I had managed to figure out that she was a “School Mom” but that narrowed it down to 1200 kids. Not exactly zeroing in on it. But then she revealed something- she had stalked my Facebook account to which I immediately knew Facebook would give her up. No one really knows the algorithm for suggested friends but I am a tech person and knew that she would be in the suggested friends list based on her visiting my feed. Off to Facebook…

It didn’t take me long to find a school mom she was the second or third suggested friend. I knew we had met briefly before. But I wasn’t 100% sure it was her. I realized something else as I peered through her feed. I found a picture I ogled just months before. She was in a bikini and looked amazing. I knew back then she probably drove the other Mom’s crazy. So I started to get excited. Could this really be her? One of the hottest Mom’s in my town?

So back to texting her. I said I think I have you. She said “already?” I said “Yup!” I said are you “this person”? She said “oh my god how did you figure it out so fast?” I told her that her FB stalking busted her. And so here we were virtually face to face. What do we do from here? Most would think this is where it ends… We promise each other never to give the other one up and have a chuckle if we see each other and go on our merry ways. But there was this undeniable chemistry an ease of conversation like I had known this person my entire life.

From there we began texting. I didn’t know she was in the Caribbean with her husband. He was there on business and so she was alone by the pool or beach in what I could only imagine was something sexy.

I immediately started to flirt with her as I knew she wasn’t going away. We would exchange questions about sex… what do we like? what are we attracted to? history? fantasies? We covered quite a bit as she was there for 5 days. She even sent me a photo half naked and I almost couldn’t contain myself.

So what’s next… “Do we meet?” I asked. And she said “Yes! I am super curious.” But when we discussed it beyond that she would tell me about how picky she was. So it really tempered my excitement and even added nerves. I asked “when would you like to meet?”….

Broken – My Tinder Find

I picked up my phone and downloaded Tinder. My heart was racing and I felt like I was betraying my marriage. But I said how could I betray someone I have no romantic relationship with.

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

I picked up my phone and downloaded Tinder. My heart was racing and I felt like I was betraying my marriage. But I said how could I betray someone I have no romantic relationship with. You couldn’t betray a family member by looking for a romantic connection. That’s how I talked myself through it.

The app was installed. I already ran into roadblocks… How do I even create a profile? I can’t put my pictures on it. So I grabbed a stock photo of a blank background. I put my initial, my age, and something that said “Married in loveless marriage, looking for chemistry and connection.” I wanted to be honest as strange as that sounds. My desire was to find out if someone could be attracted to me for who I was and see how it would develop from there.

I didn’t swipe much. I did only on profiles that I thought could be women doing the same thing. No pictures or disguised pictures of something else. I tried to be careful… I only did this at work. My thought was distance is good. If I ever meet someone it would be someone I didn’t know.

Barely any matches were made until one day I matched. A similar profile, except it had a picture of her shoulder and a landscape. We had a few quick flirty moments and exchanged kik accounts. It didn’t take long of her to ask for a picture. I had some ready to go as I knew this was going to happen eventually. I sent them as I held my breath. I was exposing myself to this person I didn’t know.

That’s when she said something that made me nearly throw up and my heart explode at the same time… “I think I know who you are” You are from “This place”. Holy Shit! She is right. I tried to deny it but she laughed. And I thought she has me. Great I haven’t even so much as had a conversation and I am busted. How terrible am I at this?

She tried to comfort me by saying don’t worry your secret is safe with me. I told her repeatedly thank you. She even gave me the “I am doing the same thing, so no judgement” line to make me feel better. I asked her if she would tell me who she was and she laughed. So that’s great I will walk around all wondering if anyone in my immediate orbit knew. It was also a Friday and we kind of started to say goodbyes so the entire weekend to think about it. No distractions from work.

I managed the weekend but with definite anxiety over what I had done and who might know. Monday morning I decided to reach out to my new match and tell her that I was grateful for the way she handled it and that I appreciated her discretion. And that is when things got interesting…

Broken – Prologue

This blog is a story about a journey at the end of a loyal and loveless marriage and an unexpected new found love that turned into a long affair that cost me a marriage, love and finally my heart. It’s going to be raw and honest and I won’t always be the hero of my own story. But…

After 18 years of marriage I was having enough. I knew it was only a matter of time before it was over but I stayed for our kids. It was important to me that they get to a place where they were fairly independent. I will avoid going too much into my marriage it was like most… roommates, business partners, enter your cliche here. But the problems were so much more than that and it killed the intimacy forever. I never felt unjustified with wanting love because it was absent. My only regret or shame is deceit. There is a definitive lie that is being told and it never felt good and at the same time I knew I deserved so much more from a committed relationship. I never once thought of leaving or having an affair until I had no hope left, I tried for more than a decade and alas I just knew it was never going to be better.

As anyone who has had no intimacy, affection, and seldom even sex for years you tire on porn and other methods to keep you whole. You start to get curious. What does dating look like? What does a healthy intimate and sexual dynamic look like? Am I even attractive to other people? So many questions from so many different angles. If you are a sexual person or a person that wants affection, intimacy and sex it can start to consume your thoughts with all the unanswered questions.

And so it begins… you pick up the dating app.

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