Broken – Bliss and Chaos pt. 1

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

When you are first in love there is a blissful period. You want to know everything about this person and they you. The universe couldn’t look better. Things are more colorful, smell better, things are funnier, and you are just generally more happy. We were no exception.

Everything about us felt right. I always maintain there are three main levels of chemistry I look for… Intellectual, Emotional, and Physical/Sexual. There is another chemistry level only meant for people that are connected. It is physiological. You can’t explain why. How they feel in your arms, how your lips come together, how you, yes I am talking about this, fit inside. We used to notice and remark about how we made a unique smell together. Pheromones, products, natural smell and it was like sniffing a intoxicating scent of sex and love all day.

Every moment from there for a while we spent together was blissful. Cloud nine like. The world disappeared around her. Every morning I would wake up to a message “Good Morning Handsome” and every night would be “Goodnight I love you”. I mean the only thing better would be telling each other in person.

The funny thing about bliss is it can mask the not so rosy reality around you. So while the world appears better and more colorful it is just our focus on the good. And sometimes the bad can hit you out of nowhere.

Hailey always had a proclivity to chaos. My early most memorable experience with it was when she visited me at my office for sex. On her way out she grabbed her things and ended up grabbing my keys with her. I hadn’t noticed. I ordered take out to pick up on my way home and went to the bathroom before i was about to leave. I mistakenly locked the office door and was locked out. “Fuck!” I couldn’t even call her I had to message and hope she would see it. She did and came back and I was 45 minutes late getting home. It was early on and I didn’t even know if she would come back. She has kids and things to do. Anyways seems innocent but this would be an indication of what could happen in her life. It seems innocent but can be induced without thinking about how things are affected by your actions.

Then one morning in the middle of our blissful state, one I thought could go on for a long time. She did the unthinkable. She wrote me that morning and said “I told James (Husband) that I was having an affair and I am in love.” I was stunned was she serious, holy shit she is serious? I asked why would you do that? You are exposing all of us. This was the first time I was every truly upset by her. Her only explanation was she thought he had the right to know so he could sort of move on. This impact would be lasting in so many ways. She told me not to worry that they have a different kind of relationship and it was more of a friendship.

This probably should have been it. But I loved her and wanted to believe her. So I did…