Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue
Now that Hailey told James she wanted out, in my world that would be almost immediate, but not with them. He would hold on and try to convince her not to go. I never understood this. Why would you want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with you. Why do you want to be with someone that is in love with someone else? I have an adverse reaction to this. When someone doesn’t want to be with me I am out ASAP.
I do get that it is more difficult with family and kids. But that is logistics. He really wanted to manipulate her into staying. Despite their troubles and his own significant transgressions. They talked for a few months before agreeing to November. They had vacations planned, sports seasons, a house to sell, numerous milestones to clear before they could part ways.
Looking back I realized this was always James’s tactic stall and try to convince her and wear her down. I thought they were resigned and working on this but he was not going to give up then one day…
I get a message in three different forms, email, text, and another way. “911!! he is outside your house.” Sure enough I spot his car while working on some project with the kids. I couldn’t believe it. He even started messaging me. He found my contact while spying on her computer. “Come out and talk” he said. He was drunk. Hailey said just go talk to him and he will go away. I said if I go then outside it’s the same as inviting him in. There would be questions in my house there was no way I could answer.
I implored her to manage him. Tell him the police will be called, anything. This is where it gets messy for all of us. I just stood my ground he was out there for 90 minutes and then finally drove away. It was the first time I noticed that Hailey chose him over me. I know it was the father of her kids. But there is no way I would let my spouse ruin someone else’s life for something I chose to do. I was disappointed but empathetic in the no-win situation she was in. But for the first time I questioned how deep her love for me really was. Maybe that is harsh but i couldn’t help but think it.
Looking back I am not sure if this was about her choosing him over me or her choosing her. She didn’t want to deal and the most self preserving thing she could do was nothing. Maybe she was frozen maybe she wasn’t. Neither of us felt good after this. We never really spoke about that night and the implications on our own relationship. There are things we do when we love someone. We ignore the things that may tear us apart. It was no different in the very things in my own marriage that my wife and I never wanted to talk about. Because it hurts and you love the person and you know it will never get better. But in reality it just ends up being the Elephant in the room you can no longer ignore.