Broken – The Aftermath

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

The aftermath was hell. Literal hell. Telling my kids was brutal. I told them it was my choice. If they would be angry it was going to be with me. Why, because I could take it, I am not sure my wife could. On top of what was already happening between us, upset kids was the least I could take off her plate. Worse I had to make changes in my life immediately.

I had to start spending time away instead of having the risk of confusing everyone. I tried to start slow. First week I spent a couple nights just out but came home. That first night I was out, Hailey had her kids. I thought about the way she treated me on her first night. She made such a big deal about it. I just went to the movies no fanfare. I just wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. I didn’t mind, she had obligations and her kids come first. Plus I wasn’t in a celebratory state.

But I met Hailey down the street for a quick smooch in the car and missed the first 10 min of the movie. There was still a need for discretion but not as much. I wanted no ire or fury of anyone in our orbits directed at Hailey. She was almost in shock. She couldn’t believe it. I was basically hers. But not so fast. We had to reconcile the last couple months and all the bullshit she put me through. I think she was hoping the slate would be wiped clean.

I even said “my wife is afraid I would be scooped up in 5 minutes.” Hailey said yes I am going to scoop you up in 5 minutes. Which was flattering and showed where her head was at. I told her we need to talk about the last couple months. But I can’t right now. Right now my heart can only take what was happening at home. I had to decouple first I told her I appreciate her excitement but we still had a ways to go.

Hailey seemed to understand. I could feel her underlying excitement. I was less excited because I knew what I was going through at home. Imagine breaking up over and over again. Hearing about what a piece of shit you were. Well I had to take it. I had to let her express her anger. I would defend myself a little but mostly I was just taking shots for hours and hours (seriously 3 to 4 hours per day).

While Hailey was mostly supportive it didn’t take her long to inject some drama. The fact that I didn’t run right into her arms may have surprised her, even upset her. If she was true to me during the time I was at home and she was out I would have leaped into them without looking. But something told me to pause. I wanted to be with her but one thing at a time. First decoupling, then what happened this fall, then we could talk about our future.

She didn’t like it. She questioned me “you are going to want to be single aren’t you?” I intentionally didn’t answer. Being the super empath that is also a justice warrior, accountability and truth needed to happen before I could blindly jump into this. I was not going to be made a fool of. She had questions to answer and I am not the type to let it go. Besides my kids were older than hers except for her oldest. I was going to have a lot more free time on my hands and I thought it wasn’t terrible her to feel a little of what she put me through. Even if just for a moment. I know that may sound awful but honestly she should have thought of that whilst making Tinder comments and probably going out on dates. What goes around comes around. And at that moment I was no longer in preservation mode.

Simultaneously all the fighting at home accelerated things and I needed to start spending nights away. My wife and I just needed the breather. Should I invite Hailey on one of those…?