Broken – Giving It a Try

Broken is a story that is best read Chronologically to start from the beginning – Prologue

In the wake of my mini explosion over Hailey’s boundary crossing, something she apparently loves to do or never recognizes, I kind of took a break. I just tried to focus on myself. Things got better really locally and Outdoor dining started to open up.

Spring and on the cusp of summer it is always a good feeling. I was running quite a bit thinking about Hailey often. Is this how I need to reconcile this relationship? By myself? Ugh. I don’t know, I am in uncharted waters. I haven’t had my heartbroken in this kind of way since my early 20’s. It was different than what I experienced in my marriage because it was a slow burn over years and we were no longer in love and that still hurt like hell. What was this?

Dreams and sleepless nights would come. And even though it was on my mind I like to stay in motion and not wallow. I need an action plan typically. Most of my “therapy” time came in the conversations with Jennifer. I would ask her about her relationship with Gregg and she would ask about Hailey.

It really was a fortunate well timed placement of a person in my life… thanks Universe! I felt fortunate. We had the same sense of humor and could talk about sex like it was the weather. But it felt more friend than romance. That being said we talked about just giving it a try.

I think we both kind of new that we would tread carefully that this wasn’t probably going to end up in a long term relationship. So how do we keep the friendship in tact. The fact that neither of us thought this was long term was never outwardly discussed. Just a feeling or ‘vibration’ between us.

But we were both lonely adults with needs and we got along so heck… why not? I went and visited her the first time. It was a 4 minute drive that is how close she lives. We just talked and hung out. It was refreshing. Even though we were supposed to start seeing where it goes. We never forced it. It was going to happen organically.

We hung out for a little while longer I hugged her goodbye. No kissing no nothing really. This would happen a few more times we managed a kiss in one of those and it was a good one.

Then one night I got a text from her that said. “I am a little horny do you think we could try?” It was later but still early enough. I got dressed and 4 minutes later I was there we talked a little then snuggled in her bed. That snuggle turned into kissing and more kissing until our clothes were off.

We had sex a couple times that night and I went home late. It is strange I don’t remember our sex well. Almost as if as a friend I can’t think of her in that way. It’s so strange and hard to articulate. And wasn’t bad at all. I remember it being good but none of the details I usually do.

We seem to be able to glide in and out of this with our friendship as if they were two different components but also we were able to talk about it. Nothing was weird. So I think our friendship my survive this.

I am not sure if it would ever be more or could ever be more because of the timing and both of us were still in love with other people. But we would continue to spend time together and it was fun and light. Kind of what the Dr. ordered.